VC:

finally a picture. after all my long words. HAHAHAHA!

Rule The World.

You light the skies, up above me
A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t fade away, don’t fade away-

Oh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world-
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world-

If walls break down, I will comfort you
If angels cry, oh I’ll be there for you
You've saved my soul
Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me now

Oh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world-

Ooooooooh
All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-

Ooooooooh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world

All the stars are coming out tonight (oooooooh)
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-
All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you,for you-

All the stars, are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-
All the stars, are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you,for you-

HAHAHA i found the song that i have been looking for.

so few come and dont go.

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY since shawn wants me to blog about the spdbguys. i shall comply. since there is nothing much for me to do. lets talk about.
SHAWN! i know the main point you ask me to blog about the guys is to talk about you right? okay shawn eats damn slowly. and he makes people wait for him. HAHAHAHA shawn has aids. shawn has abs liaoZxz. shawn is mr biceps. ya he has nice biceps. biceps infested with aids. eh what else. erm shawn has an angel. hahahahaha. the angel trained out his abs. HAHAHA. so cool right. aids aids aids. nothing else to say alr.
my god. i am in the club now and someone just came in and i am damn high but i am not showing any facial expressions. cause i am not allowed to. i am not supposed to. i am not goinrg to. i cant. i need to control myself. i need to. and i am feeling so terrible now. cause i cant do anything about it. damn it. pam, you are such a loser laaaaaaaaaaaa wahlao.......
back to a more serious point (not that the above isnt serious enough). the leave of people is definitely affecting many. and i cant find anything to console them. which explains my title: so few come and dont go. taken off a song by the fray 'look after you'. people come and go. not many leave footprints in our hearts. there will come a time when people will just leave one by one. and its up to us to make the best out of what we have now. treasure the time left with the remaining people. (and i still havent mustered up the courage to open my mouth to strike a conversation damn!) oh well i think that there is no point in being so depressed over it. we should channel all the depression, sadness and anger into the aggression in the water. nothing is forever. maybe memories. but even memories fade. (he just picked up his bag and left the club and i mustered up enough courage to ask if he was going for lessons and said bye, yes i am still a loser.)photographs are forever? but photographs will fade too. what is forever? friends? friends come and go too. maybe only death is forever. cause once you die. you leave everything behind and you can never come back to life. why....... come to think of it again, glory is forever too. we should leave a legacy, that will stay forever. yes, that is forever. people will remember you and your name will be told in stories. over and over again.
WEDNESDAY:
went to the upper gym. they added new machines there! or isit i havent been there for too long already?! i dont like the upper gym la. its where all the guys wanna train half naked-.- so annoying. please put on a shirt if you happen to fall into the fat NOT fit category. HAHA gross to the max please. please have some decency? okay maybe that is not the right word. but whatever la huh.... as long as you get what i mean can already la huh.

i said it before, i cant promise to love you forever. i can only tell you, i love you today. and i love you tomorrow. and i want to say it everyday.

sexyback

i am currently damn high now. cause someone just came into the club. gwen, denise and i are in the club slacking. and i just ended gems. attending gems is the most unproductive thing on earth. i sleep all the way while the teacher was yakking away HAHA and i so didnt get what the teacher talking about. his accent was too heavy ): sorry teacher. anyway. back to my someone. hahah he has a sexy back and he is wearing a cap. he is damn hot. okay bye. thats all i wanna say, HAHAHA. and yes i am still very much in love with him............................

mundane talks

hello little eartlings and stalkers.
anyway, trng yday killed me. cause like we chased the rabbit. damn it. tiring like f! and i am currently in class posting this cause there is nth to do in class. its report writing now. we did alot of running. sprints. back kick. front kick?! run backwards. hopping. lunging. wahlao can die i tell you. HAHAHA i am so lousy la. i am damn slow at short distance. knn. someone pls give me talent to run faster for short dist pls. and then we played no rules captain ball and luckily i wasnt involved in the 'battle' that occured in the pool. scary PLEASE! and! there is gems today. havent been attending gems for damn long liao. haha like 2 weeks i think. i am gonna get the warning letter-.- oh my! better be there early today. i hope i have the mood to attend gems later.
i am hungry and i forgot to bring money to eat. and my phone keeps running out of money. can some kind soul buy me top up card. nnp. i am too pro at messaging. stop texting la pam, you are not that popular what................
i do not stalk people. i am not a stalker. stalkers do not sit at coffeeshops and shake leg. stalkers have no time to sit at the coffeeshop and shake leg la. they are busy stalking you see.
i forgot what i wanted to blog about. oh ya! i remember liaoZXz. is it a bad thing to like people easily? like like only. not love. sometimes the object of your affection is very cute (like me maybe) and you cant help it right. so we cant blame ourselves. well i am not talking about myself cause i am still very much in love with my own bolster. well. a different kind of bolster from the normal ones(its one that i brought to dbcamp and its all soft and mouldable and wrapped with manymany layersssss of bolster casing and only the honoured few(like my dbgirls and mrtp and family members) can ever get to see it). i am also very much in love with myself. in love with myself being, i need to talk to myself. haha need to connect with myself laaaaa right? inner connection and must get to know myself better. not the love myself so much that i spend hours in the mirror looking at my own face. FYI, i do not really like to look at my face. i am not pretty. i am not ugly. i think i am pretty ugly. do u get what i mean?
dont give me all the crap that 'oh pam, you are pretty what...... you are not ugly' pls ah-.- u think i will believe you ah? i wont believe la. siao. but then again, different people have different views on beauty. and i do not. give any flying fucks about whether you think i am pretty or not.
SO WHAT if i wear specs. SO WHAT if i dont have long hair? SO WHAT if i dont talk softly? SO WHAT if i dont control my volume? SO WHAT if i eat faster than a guy? SO WHAT if i wanna shave my hair(part of my hair anyway). SO WHAT SO WHAT?
does that mean i am not pretty? does that mean that i am not beautiful? does that mean i am not cute? does that mean that i do not deserve to be a girl. sorry ah. i am still a girl (so sad to all the girly girls out there, i am part of your main gang. HAHA i am still a girl. sad ah cry la). AND all of you blind bats(boys i mean) havent seen the girl side of me. wow isnt that a revelation?
AND SO WHAT if i am in dragonboat! does that mean i cant wear a dress. does that mean i cant wear a skirt? does that mean i cant wear sleeveless. RETARDED. pls ah. dont have a typical mindset that DBgirls are all big and uncouth (well maybe there are some who are like that but not all right). we are not. i feel that every DBgirl is powerful in their own ways. DB is a tough sport and not many have what it takes to stay on. some leave openly. some leave on the sly. others stay on but not for long. even some guys cant take it. so how much does it take a girl to stay on? so here, i salute all the girls who are striving on in DB (: muchloveokay, dont say i am not gentle. erm i digressed alot right? oh ya. as i was saying. i am damn in love with my bolster. and myself. and mrtp. ya love is damn shitty but lovely yet annoying and pissing i tell you. makes your heart feel as if it doesnt belong to you and all you wanna do is to give yor heart to your love with no need for any token of love. and all you could ever ask for is for them to feel the same way as you and that their hearts beat in synch with yours too. very very difficult to explain my situation now. and i know i cant give up cause i wont give up. his is the hand i wanna hold for the rest of my life (rest of my life sounds too long, so erm maybe, for as long as i have strength to hold?). and his is the face i wanna wake up to every morning (no matter how jialat the complexion or how buang the face or how retarded looking the face i dont care la he still damn handsome to me and i go crazy when i catch a glimpse of him eh i dont care what u all say okay). yes i am stubborn like that. erm. what else..............................
oh ya. we need to train hard. i need to train hard. i am still not as good as the rest in the team ): i shall brush up on sprints. on pullups. on amount of weights. on muscle definition. on losing weight. on. alot alot. and it would take me so long to type them out. i am aiming 50kg. can i do it? hahahahha if i am 50kg then i would be underweight i think, for my height la. okay i gg for lunch liao. its a wednesday and its 12pm. and did i mention i have gems later? this is a very long post and y have my respect if you read it word for word(but that also means you have no life la, go on roll your eyes, i cant see you roll it anyway.........) .

hairmatters

sooooooooooooooooooo! like i finally have sch. cause there wasnt sch on thurs or friday or sat or sun and i skipped lessons on monday. i kinda miss school. but thats only because i miss using the school computer. haha if i dont use computer in school means i cant update and all you people with no life cannot read my boringoldfart entries. well. you must be thinking why would you be reading? well obviously you are. if you dont like it and dont wish to read it. i can only say: dont read dont read lor. you seriously think i care if you read? must be living in denial. anyway, i wanted to update about my mundane life. younger sisters are kind of the most annoying creatures on Earth. well maybe not all. but mine definitely is. she is damn smart. so smart to bring my whole collection of nail polish to her friend's place just cause they said they wanted to paint their nails. HAHA thanks ah. and she very smartly left it there too-_- and i couldnt get to paint my nails. but no matter. she has brought it back and reassured me that they didnt use my colour. should i feel better?!?!? the problem is she still brought it there without asking me for permission. and she still loves to wear my clothes. next time i shall buy like either super small or super big. lets see how she fits into them. other than that, she loves wasting my polish too. she will change her nail colours very frequently. how annoying. and she has no idea how to paint my nails nicely ): she is lousy. see? thats concludes why younger sisters are irritating. well only my younger sister that is.
oh the other point of this entry is to announce that i painted my nails dark blue. HAHAHA they are so dark that it looks like black instead. how very smart of me. but i still think it is damn nice. and i am damn smart too. to paint my nails at night when i am about to sleep. and they took so long to dry. dumb nails. and i spoilt one of it ): i am damn sad.................... BUT! its not THAT obvious so i am not very sad..... okay i am being so retarded.
and! another point of this entry is to discuss about my hair. i like to talk to myself, which is why i am posting this. i still feel the need to shave my hair. well not the whole head. but the sides. i wanna shave the sides. i feel the need but there is no need to do that. i am very tempted to shave it. i want to try it. and i know if i dont do it, now. i will regret. cause i cant possibly do it when i grow up and go to work right? AH! so people please vote. besidessssssssss, my hair grows quite fast, so in no time, the sides of my head will be filled with hair again. i am so stuck la. i dont know what to do. there is also the consequence to think of. what if i dont look nice with shaved sides. then i will have to live in a cap for the next few months before my hair grows. HAHAHA so fun to live with a cap stuck permanently on your head. oh! what if people mistake me as a butch-.- i am not butch la. i just like short hair (but maybe shaving is a little too extreme huh?). dont think i will shave the sides after all. but still no matter what. i am gonna try a little bit of shaving. the problem is just where? HAHAHA.
another thing! i wanna talk about my new specs la. but i havent gotten it. have to wait till 3rd august i think............ did i mention that its a black framed one? and i think it makes me look studious. hopefully after this change of specs, then i will looking forward to studying. HAHAHAHA maybe the choice of specs changes a person's mindset? oh my. its a black frame. actually i have kinda forgotten how it really looks like. but whatever. when i get it, then it shall change my life. i am just worried it wont suit me. how how how. i didnt really choose it. i asked for other people's opinion okay. then i think that was the nicest one among all. i even wanted to choose purple. but i think sticking to a safer colour like black is better.............

AND! i still want long hair la. just that i wanna try a shorter style first?

you are still my babylovelovelovelove.................................................

and its like a freaking tuesday today and its 3.04pm

sit and shake leg

everytime after trng, the girls would head over to suntec foodcourt and try to find a place to sit down and have our dinner. but we are always so unlucky and the place would be damn crowded cause it is nearing dinner time. then the girls would have to seperate and then no more bonding ):
just the other day, i was arguing with my friend over whether sitting at the coffeeshop and shaking leg is right or wrong. now, who has a problem with that? whats wrong with sitting there and having a chat over your drink. my choice of drink would be teh bing or bandung. and its not like i sit there and refuse to budge when there are many waiting for a place right...?
there are still many things that i wish to say. but i cant. because i need to protect myself. i cant let everything out on this blog for everyone will know. there are still many things that i keep in my heart. though i look like i posted alot of information. but this is only the tip of the iceberg.

many thanks to everyone who has been there for me.
those who text me.
those who walk with me.
those who lunch with me.
those who knows whats going on and how long it will take for me to get better.

i know i wont ever receive any msg from you again unless it is really urgent. and after so long. i am still not used to it.

'i am so damn in love with you la.' do you remember sending this msg to me a few months back? i felt the same way back then and now i still feel the same way. if not, i feel even deeper for you. and everytime i pass by TP, i keep thinking of you. of your place. of how we spend the afternoons watching tv. slacking. eating. and sleeping.... how you would prepare the water bottle for at night if i wanted to drink. how you would ask me to be careful when i wanna go to the toilet at night. how we would cuddle up under the blanket and keep warm. how i will keep squirming and annoy the hell outta you. and the times when i would arrange your arms to be below my head as my pillow. when i feel cold and i would stick close to you, cause your body is always very warm. you know i miss you alot? and i can give up everything just for you to be in my arms again? baby come back to me.....................................

coffeeshop talk

many things to update. but i never go sch so i never get to use the computer HAHAHA so couldnt update. betcha people musta missed me loads.
SATURDAY: i didnt go to the bday party ): no kfc. sad.
saturday was alright. as all would have already found out by now. we had to carry the boat. and it was filled with like lizards and snails. and ants. and spiders. so the very lucky me, being the pacer, i was safe. haha cause all the creepy crawlies were at the back of the boat. HAHAHAHA too bad. the champion boat, i swear is love la. wahlao damn light and damn easy to paddle. and the point of the day is. ZIHAO CAME BACK! and i am damn happy. like serious. zihao is love la. not that i am in love with him, cause i am alr in love with someone else. but. he is love. hahaha our starcoxswain. hehehe. and i have been saving money and walking home everytime. zzzz my legs are getting nicer from all the walking (i hope).

SUNDAY: my mother'd bday (:
bernice didnt attend trng so i paced with yunnsin. some unhappy incidents happened and i am glad things are okay now. eh, sp25 is still my love though sp01cumsp11 is my first love. hahahaha and know what. i paddle so hard until my specs broke during trng. wahlaoZXzx. i is the damn sad can. the other time paid like nearly 300 bucks for this greenish geeky specs. then now the frame broke. so i was blind for like half the day. so sad can. considering my degrees is like damn bad. 375 for the left eye and about 650 for the right eye. so i went to optical88 to make new ones plus fix the broken frame. and! the new specs cost like 338. wahwahwah. tell you. i am about to eat grass for the rest of my life. so if the new specs not nice, or if you all think not worth the money. then dont blame me. i didnt choose it. and the bloody reason why it is so exp is cause the lenses are damn exp. like. 240. nabei. luckily the frame got 50% discount. or else. i would end up paying nearly 500bucks for my new specs. eh can buy oakleys liao la. HAHAHAHAH who wannabe my sugar daddy or mummy. everyone 10dollars can liaoZXzx. and i walked home again-.- and noone in my family knows i made new specs for myself. i havent broken the news. what wouldhappen when they find out. AH! i am dead.

MONDAY: blues.
went school. gymed. ran one round outside sch and clocked my PB(: thanks ah running partner(but most prob you wont ever read this booo you). skipped lessons. lunched with the babes at staff centre. slacked till three. went to club. waited for shiya. then went home with shiya. got home. watched tv. painted nails. went to bed.

bathing with the girls.

HAHAHA. friendship........... how close do u have to be with your friends in order to bathe with them. i feel that bathing, is a sacred process, in which u cleanse youself in the most intimate way. you scrub, rub, wipe, soap, shampoo and admire yourself in the mirror. HAHAHAHA. okay i mean i dont admire myself when i am bathing. but maybe when i am drying myself and i can say i am quite pleased with my current results. haha visible fat loss. but! will only be shown those who i hold close to my heart. and the lucky few would be. resident of fc6 and the transferer. HAHAHA guess who? those that can guess shall....... be congratulated with our smile. hahahaha mine, and those two (: anyway. we should all save water and shower together. dont you all think so? HAHA like after trngs at kallang when all the cubicles are so filled and the queue looks never ending, we would shower tgt.... despite the stares of the other people. i mean like. wahlao, stare for what. my close friends what..... nothing to be shy right. and then, like after trng in sch, then the toilet would be damn full also and there would be no space for us to bathe so we have to bathe together....... i think that there is nth to be ashamed of. so what if i bathe with other people, its is my choice. ehhhhhhhh. i dont really bathe with alot of people. i am shy to bathe with people, unless they are damn close to me. hahaha so those lucky few who bathe with me, be honoured okay. okay la. not anything to be proud of also but. haha fun what. though we like to laugh and laugh and laugh over the size of ******* HAHAHA but we know who own who right. shit la. i think this post damn private lehhhh. so no names mentioned. okay need to get in shape for more bathing activities with missfc6 and miss transferer. HAHA DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? dont tell me you dont know ah. bathe with me still dont know. what the pongZXzxzxz.

oh and i have been gyming everyday from monday to friday. and i think i am about to be very fit, not fat anymore. HAHAHAHAHAHA jiayouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu pammmmmm (:

this is my real brother.

HAHAHAHA hello lingling (: we so look alike here luhhhhh.

the dark knight, maybe not.

sooooooooooooooooo! i caught the dark knight like finally. haha rwps class was shit la. dont like it at all. got so much to rant about. HAHAHA. the dark knight was caught at like 830 at tm. yes such a loser place. but it was the only place near enough for me to walk home and knowing me, i am such a lazy bum. and i detest walking. hahah yes i am a slacker so what?
and the movie only ended at like 1115 somewhere there and staying for the credits to finish rolling was such a retarded thing to do, cause there was nth to stay for. wth. like thanks ah. so i wasted like 10-15 mins waiting..... for nothing. feel damn smart. ahh. before the movie started, a trip to NTUC ended up in buying abag of lays which was stuffed into my bag. snuck it into the cinema to snack on. wahlao. so into the movie that alot was left la. so i brought it home and its sitting in my fridge now. and! i bought honey lemon water to cure the dry throat. quick, thank me.
HAHAHAH so i spent the whole day in sch practically doing nth. until i went for ST (: lol then i got so engrossed in it that i didnt know denise, gwen, yunnsin msged me. lol. due to the dark knight also, i missed the volleyball match between SP and TP, dont know how it went. need to ctach up with alot of people. i seem to have alot of free time but in the end also no time for myself.
and did i mention that my beloved hamster, pig, grew fatter? haha its damn round right now. and when i got time then i take picture of him okay.....
and also, did i mention that i got fairynails. HAHAHA like my nails are painted and got glitter. yes damn gay right. thats why i cant ever be butch. skali people think, wahlao this girl butch or gay sia. short hair still paint nails. HAHA therefore in a way, i think people are secretly hating me. cause i am so retarded..........
and i got a head full of messed up hair. still thinking of whether to do anything drastic to my hair. ahhh. too bad HfH is over. or else i could have taken part in it, and live in a beanie for the rest of my life while my hair takes it time to grow. my hair is curently getting unruly. not long but its the kinda long for short hair, WHICH IS DAMN BLOODY ANNYOING. hahaha and the sides are puffing out and i am damn annoyed. i want to trim it but i want to keep it long, which is such a contradiction, right? okay nevermind. trng tmr. gotta rest now.... bye.

oh did i mention i lost weight too. HAHAHAHA.

kill-able -.-

soooooooooooooooooooo. we ran one round outside school and half a round around the track at a reasonable pace. no difficulties in breathing. i think i can sing somemore. HAHAHA and then weights trng was a killer once more, BUT I AM REALLY GLAD COACH CAME DOWN. coach said that he cant wait to see us all grow up cause between the age of 18 to 25 is the age where girls change most.
HAHAHA so i am imagining what i would change into. HAHAHA now......... i have short hair but considering to keep it longer. is that a change?! need a change of specs too. HAHAHA but they say my specs make me, me? maybe i will change it to some other cranky colour. HAHAHA they say my specs make me look crazy. tell me what colour should i change it to....... eh does the length of hair really matter? people with long hair hotter meh. i think short hair is the sex okay (not trying to say that just cause i have short hair, but i thought so long ago, and in case u all so noob and didnt know, i used to have really long hair too. till like. above waist, longer than bernice's okay, hows that! HAHA)
and then once more, during trng, my heart started beating damn fast and damn hard like it was gonna fly out. maybe its cause i saw ********, but i think thats part of the reason. HAHAHA or maybe its cause of coach la...... last tuesday also like that. is it gonna be an every tuesday thing?! mmm. so people, gotta talk to me and show me your love, in case i die. cause i currently feel very weak and feel like dying. and i lost weight! HAHAHA but i wont tell you. HEHEHE. running is good. so run more. if u wanna run, pls contact me at runningisthesex at hotmail dot com. HAHAHA joking the above email doesnt exist luhhhh. erm what else did i wanna say?
oh ya. sorry if Pam seems abit down lately. i havent got any energy to bring her out la. so its just pammmmtheboringoldfart for the next few days...... months....... i think. just very tired. hahaha and i stumbled across a letter i meant to give ******** but i havent gotten the chance. eh didnt know that time i wrote the letter, my english so cheem siaaaaaaa. HAHAHAHA got this part mention.... erm. 'love between us is not just love, its a life and its not complete without you.' HAHAH Woahhhhh right!!???!?!? i know...... got some other mushy parts la but i am not inclined to type it out. later not fun anymore. and then right, i wrote it on a receipt. hahaha the train concession receipt. booo. so cheap skate right. but impromptu ah then got no nice paper. dont blame me ah. now the receipt like crumpled liaozx, cause its from april till now. haha so long liao still havent passed. damn sian-.- and slow of me.
erm i have been feeling cold lately. and i keep wearing a jacket. but i am still cold. and i read the papers this morning then i saw ronaldo's picture. wah he so shuai *goes gaga and crazy over him and starts thinking and thinking and thinking* okay i am crazy.
someone asked me. why do girls resolve to either suicide or stalking after the relationship ends? HAHAHAH i dont know how to answer sia... suicide is the first thought i guess. but in the end also wont die one ah. so brave to die meh. i also scared to die lor. haha then stalking. i think its just a phase. cause u wanna know how your ex is doing and all that crap? HAHA not sure. i think i am the stalker kind. okay gotta stop it. gotta stop it. gotta throw the phone away. HAHAHA! stop it ah(drills that into my head x1000000000times)
i wanted to watch dark knight after trng. and then when i got to tm, the cinema closed liaoZxzx then i walked to century and then the cinema also closed liaoZXz. what is the matter with the cinemas. close so early. wahlaooooo annoying to the max can!? then i walked home lor. wahlaooo still damn annoyed ah. grrr.

and i dont get it leh. why my stomach always damn pain and i cant eat anything or i will feel like puking... zzzz lousy to the max. and i think people who have maomao should just wax it off. on some people it looks hot. on others, its just plain gross ah. GROSS TO THE MAX... okay bye.

sorry seems to be mundane.

i am that one person.
and you are that one person for me too.
you may not be the one i turn to everytime i have problems.
neither the first to share my joy and happiness with.
you did your part as a friend. as a close friend of mine, to pull me up when i was down.
to travel down to my place just for my bday song and cutting cake session.
guess i never told you how much i appreciate that. i do. i appreciate all the little shits that we do together.
even though i dont show it. even though i pretend i dont care.
but i do care. and i care alot.
we have come a long way. right from the start.
i know we were never very very close. but things got better.
and we got together (:
i remember how we celebrated our first monthsary at gelare.
how we ordered the 8scoops ice cream thingy.
everything that has happened, i dont know what to think either.
maybe i am just very affected by my own problems and tend to make things seem,
even bigger? from my point of view, maybe i saw things too seriously.
this whole business is confusing me.
this whole business was never my business.
i know you long for only one person. only that one.
and that person was the one who made u fall so deep.
the one that you cant ever get over.
i dont know how to protect you. dont know how to take away your heartache.
there are many things i wish to say. but i dont know how to bring it up to you.
i know the things i do annoy you at times.
like drinking loudly. talking incessatantly.
how i can be so insensitive to your feelings. how i blabber non stop.
maybe i was being ridiculous. maybe i am being too sensitive.
maybe i read too much into this. maybe i did misjudge.
its too late to apologize isnt it? the damage has already been done.
all these are just maybes.

i want you to know some definite things i feel.
you are definitely not 'other people' to me.
what i feel for you, you are definitely more than just a friend.
i know for sure my comments hurt you.
and i know i feel terrible whenyou mentioned you are crying over me.
from this, i am sure i mean alot to you. just like how much you mean to me.
i cant say much. cant do much. i can only apologize and wish this would pass.
let me say a very cliche thing.
the problem lies with me, not you.
the problem lies with how i view this whole thing.
not what you did.
not what other people did.

from the bottom of my heart, where you will always stay,
i am sorry.
and i can tell you one thing.
in my bottom of my heart, you will stay.
and no matter how hard it rains.
no matter how heavy the rain gets.
i will shelter you. i will be your float. and you can still count on me.
when they say forever, i think of friends. and you, are one of them.

by typing this post, i do not want anybody to think that i am trying to potray myself as the good person.
cause i know i am not. and i know i did wrong.

peekiessssss

our team name: never be replaced. HAHAHAHAHA



this is my brother la.......



brother and the girlfriend. who is in spdb too (:

hearttalk

i'd dig out my heart a thousand times over for you, yes, you.


a song from juno. a movie we caught....
If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float

days go by

swear i got alot to say so this is gonna be a really (in yunnsin's voice) long post. HAHAHA.

friday: as i mentioned i was at denise's place then watching stardust. and i showed her some parts that was damn sad la. wahlao the love is like. touching..... then we were leaving her place then walking to the train station then. she suddenly became very pale and look like she was about to die. wahlao-.- like how i look when my heart beat damn fast. scared she die.... so i asked her to go back home. HAHAHAHA then i made my way down to city hall alone. i am such a loner. dinner at thai express. in the end, only zakiki, gwen, bee, shiyazee turned up. HAHAHAHAHA erm michelle left aft passing me the present. chocs from chocz. HAHA wahlao. heart pain to eat the chocolate okay.... damn exp like hell. then we went starbucks to chillZXzzxz and sit there for like damn long. and HAHAHA msged me at 11.55pm on the 18th. oh my god. swear i was damn happy like shit. HAHAHAHA yes shit can be happy too.

satuday: my green slims spoiling, damn sad. enough sad........... damn depressed and sold out liao okay. no more green slims. how how how? pls, ******** get me another pair. i pay. but u buy can?! ):

today: trng in the morning. meet at 830 at SDBA. took them for run. ran more than usual. i still think we need to run more. even more. more. More. MORE! HAHA. trng was alright. the walk to kallang leisure park was a killer. denise didnt join us for lunch. boo. erm lots more to say but suddenly no mood to type. very very tired. erm, went to grandmas. dad fetched me home. oh my phone no more money. so i cant reply. text me then i call u lor. wahlao. sad.


i dont know what to do. dont know what to say. dont know how to act. what should i do? never felt a love like this. never thought a love like this can go so wrong. never ever ever thought things would turn out this way. i know i love you. i know i miss you. i know i cant live without you. i cant. really.

bdaygirl

friday:
HAHAHA got the shock of my life this morning at about 12.40am. knocks on my door jolted me out of my bed. and i wasnt wearing anything particularly glamourous. in fact i was in my night wear- an oversized white shirt and orange shorts. HAHAHAHA damn unglam so when i opened the door and saw them there. i swear my mouth dropped. and denise said my face damn classic, super ah you all. HAHAHAHAHA. yunnsin, zakiki, denise, gwen AND bnn were there. WAH WAH WAH. so loved i tell you. then they shouted happy birthday and my dad came out and kaopei. wth-.- okay then it was damn funny. so i think that concluded part one of the celebration? before that they called my house and i already had an inkling that it was bnn who called. i mean like. who can mistake his deep and low voice. HAHA very one kind siaaaaaaa. HAHAHAHA then this morning i took train to school with denise and then i was watching some show on her laptop then. i was laughing away to myself. guessed i must have looked like a retard. HAHAHAHAHA. cant wait for the afternoon. lunch in sch with HAHAHA and then dinner with girlziesssss.

edit/4.25 pm. i am at denise's place now. watching stardust. brings back memories.....................

thursday:
so trng did kill and i injured my thigh and i got a cut which is currently like 5cm long. pool rowing and zakiki pushed me into the pool twice and it was damn cold when coach was debriefing. HAHAHA juniors were super sweet. they bought a slice of cake for me (luckily only a slice la or else i sure fat, not fit HAHA) then they sing song talk cock play mahjong. HAHAHAHA okay whatever. the point is, they made it a point to like have a mini celebration and i feel super loved plssssssssss. i am being serious okay. nabei. i know i very gay la but whatever. and suanling i swear is a LCB. ta ma de. she wanna smear the cake on me. eeeeeee she is damn mean and damn kanasai. okay bye.

and blogger time sucks la. i still cant post the time. its a friday today. its the 18th.

oh!

eh my bday tmr. comment me ah. dont tag me or all will die!

tattttttttoooooooooooooooooo

HAHAHA i got national day tattoosssss. kelly gave it to me. i am gonna put the tattoo on. and she still owes me the pokemon ones. okay i am a happy kid for now :D

to stay; or not to stay

this feeling of annoyance has been building up inside me. i am very sick of my life. i am very sick of crying. i am very sick of having hopes dashed. hopes are the last thing you should ever have because they vanish in an instant. i want to die. and be a ghost and roam around the earth. haunt you. haunt them. haunt me. preferably, a skinny ghost...........? okay forget it. i am not ready to die. unless you ask me to. by you, i dont mean you, or you. or you. i mean, You.....

lets talk about team. when i joined the dbteam, i never thought about quitting. even when my studies went down the drain. so fuck all the lcbs who quit halfway. and i am not talking about anybody. so dont be guilty.... this team, i feel is breaking up. not break up as in break up. but apparently, after the june race, i dont feel the bond there anymore. isit always like that? we drift apart after the races and when races are coming, we bond again? this is tiring. to bond and break. break and bond. why cant the bond stay strong? i am so tired.
apparently i have alot to say. but i shouldnt blog about anything close to my heart anymore cause, as i have said before, there are little eyes that spy and anything i say here, can be used as fucking evidence against me.
lets talk about anon taggers. want to tag, dont wanna leave name. for what fuck you tag? AA isit. no point la cause we also dont know who you are. so why not u put your name which is so sacred. and we can give you some credits. you want right, i got alot of time to entertain you. lcb. may your cb rot in hell. or if you are a guy, may your lj shrivel up and drop off on the night of your wedding.

monday, out with gwen. collected my measly pay. dinner at cafe cartel (which sucks to the max ah). wanted to catch a movie. but no slots. erm walked around until damn sian and camwhore like siao in public on the steps to marina square. got pb picts. pl picts. erm noob picts also. i think.... then went home. forgot what really happened..........

tuesday, trng day. thought it was a good day until coach came down and killed us. 7 bloody stations. 3 person per grp and a bloody 10 mins each. 100 calf raises. 180abshite. NAO HIAAA. home with east siders. walked home with new found bff HAHAHA. my legs and glutes hurt from the bloody lunges. bloody hell. anyway, must say coach is damn sexy can. HAHAHAHAHA his muscles........... pheewheet!! ohyaaaaaaaa and i think my bloody heart got problem. when we finished the warm up run and wanted to start on strides, then my heart started beating damn fast. damn hard. during the strides also beat like crazy. wth and then during pullups also keep beating damn hard and it felt like it was gonna fly out, no joke. can see the heartbeat and my chest was throbbing. it IS that serious.

wednesday, lunch at fc3, then the fruit juice jiejie say i become skinnier. wah! chao shuang! HAHAHA happy like... fuck? then out with gwen. far east, looking for a sundress to go tanning with. HAHAHA saw one. 30 bucks. who wanna donate money and get it for me. 30bucks niaaaaaa..... looks damn nice on me hehehe can give u exclusive rights to take picts with me in a dress. shite la. i think i am becoming like super gay. pam and dresses-_-! cine, wanted to catch a movie. knn the queue got problem. then gwen damn dulan. kobayashi for lunch with ice.
this is the part where i have to proclaim that i am not a butch. i am not butch. i am as straight as a paddle. and will remain as straight as a freaking paddle. cause i am still waiting to get married to ******** HAHAHA so get it into your head that i am not butch. do you understand not? i am as bitchy as can be. i am as girl as can be. i am not butch. what will the real butches think if i am a butch. i am too gay to be butch. i paint nails. i scream and squeal. i am not butch. knn. stop saying and insisting i am a butch okay, lcb. i am not a butch. not butch. not anywhere near being a lesbian. nao hia. and i do not discriminate butches. in fact, i do admire them. i salute them.
drill it into your head: pam is not butch X1000000000times (: okay when u are done, tell me then i say i love you...... HAHAHA.
then ice left for work. me and gwen went heeren to continue looking for dresses-.- cant find any nice ones. nabei. then walk walk walk slack slack slack and we very smartly went to forum macs to have dinner and i shelled out $6.05 for a bloody fillet o fish. too long never eat mac then i forget that got student meal. ahhhh knnbccbnnh.

thursday, trained to sch with denise. she commented my eyes look damn swollen. damn sian ah. HAHAHAHA. trngs are gonna be killerZXzxz. statics, endurance weights, pool, runs. nbcb. but coach coming down so its alright, i think..........

at ease; in peace

hearing you makes me feel peace.
knowing we are still talking sets me at ease.

dont apologize to me for i feel i am the one who is not good enough for you.
i am the one who is not understanding enough.

peekies

HAHAHAHA. how scandalous. but i am straight... not too sure about her though.


GwenFriend doesnt wanna take picture with me.

HAHA or maybe not.

finally remember what i wanna say already. these past few days hasnt been bad. yet i cant say it has been great. the mood for the event that happened finally got into me and i spend an unfathomnable amount of time holed up in my room and crying my eyeballs out. have i really or have i not? do you still or do you not? cant seem to accept it but i cant seem to do anything about it. this life kinda sucks right now. i got no motivation. no mood. i am not only worried about myself. i am worried for you. please take care. i need help. need love. need you.

enough about my sad life.

eh what i wanna say again ah? oh ya. masters series. juniors rowed for heats and repecharge. HAHA so we got into minor finals. and got first.......... sounds so wahhhhhhh but minor finals only leh ): its okay. i am training hard. at least i know i have done my part for the team. for that particular set, which was our first and last set of the day, it felt so good. like everybody was paddling together. the second ten hard was good. we caught up with austcham and by charging, we were in the lead. i dont understand why people look down on sp. we train hard. we row like hell. is it because we look too friendly? is it because we are not fierce enough? sp is an up and coming name. watch out, i tell you. watch out. be very, very afraid. i feel a surge of annoyance and i am not gonna continue blogging anymore. eh i think i becoming not like meself anymore. sharon is forever surfing anorexic girls in class. i feel fat ): but thats just cause the girls are just too skinny. i know i am not fat. i am glad i didnt have to grow up battling weight issues. i have always been average and, used to be underweight. HAHAHA i think i am having puberty now. they say my face like breaking out. i dont want! ah if got pimple i will kill myself. i guess i am one of the blessed few to have clear complexion but a black face cause i am always in the sun. this freak obsession with tanning is gonna age my skin prematurely and i will look like an old hag. oh mann. and. whats the big idea that my birthday is coming. like what i tell denise, 18 only what. not like i have never done anything before. maybe i want to get drunk. but whats the point of getting drunk on alcohol when i can get drunk on life? okay i can safely say i am a good citizen. i dont do illegal things. 18 is legal. i can drink all i want. club all i want. smoke all i want. erm fuck all i want? HAHAHAHAHAHA but nah i dont want to. what for live so fast and die so young? i realised i digressed alot. HAHAHAHA eh people, wish me happy birthday on the 18th okay. comment me, dont flood my tagboard. HAHAHAHAHA thank you very much. erm back to my point. oh ya. i was running with denise this morning. and i feel the urge to keep running. and running and i left her behind. sorry denise! what am i running towards? or maybe what am i running from? oh i think i eat too much too. but i am not as fat as i should be. HAHAHA in your face. bye. sorry about the whole sarcastic tone of this post. i am just really annoyed cause nothing is right.

love, obviously, isnt as noble as how we make it out to be.

15 minus 4. HAHA 11

RULE 1: Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.No TAG backs!

1. i cry when i watch movies, HAHAHA watch hancock also can cry la.
2. i think i not zai but act zai and its quite successful.
3. i am always hungry and i eat even when i am not hungry.
4. i super love every other food on the table..... except.......... erm, nothing?
5. i feel a pang of nostalgia whenever i pass by tp (and no its not temasek poly)
6. i think ****** is damn hot, HAHAHA though all the dbgirls disagree.
7. i talk to pig very often and i scold him. and cry in front of him and he looks at me one kind.......
8. i think ****** has damn nice legs and i aspire to be like her (:
9. i dislike dogs that lick.... damn
10. i think everyone is very fat, except for some.
11. i think when i reach 50kg then i will stop whining. and i like num,ber11
12. i secretly fantasize about ******** HAHAHAHAHHA
13. i want to ****. HAHAHAHAHA guess what?
14. i slept for 30hours nonstop before ((((((:
15. i am paranoid. very, very paranoid.

not gonna tag anyone but would be fun to see people do this too (: get what i mean?

sexy time

TAKEN FROM CLEO:
100 AMAZING SEX FACTS. i shall pick out some which i like.
1o: forget stress balls- sex is a great way to relieve stress, as your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, which creates a feeling of euphoria.
11: the most pleasurable time for a woman to have sex is in the middle of your menstrual cycle- that's when you're bursting with oestrogen and testosterone, making you especially sensitive to touch.
13: a man ejaculates at an average speed of 45km/hour.
16: dolphins are one of the species of animals to have sex other than for the pruposes of reproduction and often engage in homosexual behaviour.
24: the ancient Greeks might have been cool about nudity, vut they still considered walkign around with an erect penis is indecent.
31: the left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right handed men. the opposite is true for lefties.
32: during arousal, the vagina lengthens to about four inches in size but can further lengthen in response to pressure.
35: the average person spends about 2 weeks of his life kissing.
43: massaging a man's heel just under the ankle bone is a great way of getting his lower half tingling with sensations!
45: mens aren't the only ones who can ejaculate during sex, but many women hold back on their ejaculation for fear that they are actually urinating.
47: when men ejaculate, only about 200 out of the 100million sperm reach the egg.
56: about 100 to 150 calories are burnt during sexual intercourse.
59: every day, about 200million couples in the world have sex.
68: have sex for a quick beauty fix! the production of oestrogen from having sex makes hair shiny and skin glow.
75: according to the Kama Sutra, a mixture of camel's milk and honey will keep a man erect all night!
78: men experience an average of 4 to 5 erections when asleep.
87: the strongest muscle in the body is the tongue, explaining why fellatio can arouse such intense sensations.
90: one of the most common fantasies- for both genders- is having sex with a current partner.
100: and finally, the number one reason to get frisky- orgasms are a great way to relieve period pains.

third legggggggggg

loads of stuff happened recently. i am not inclined to type it all out here and those i hold close to my heart should know what happened. no worries people. i am fine. i will be fine. HAHAHA will try to get better in time. i thought i had alot to say.... but some how i forgot what i wanted to type.
firstly, proud to say that temasek secondary school got back the b'division title.
secondly, i lost my voice from cheering so loudly.
thirdly, i sound like a frog now, croaking-.-
fourthy, masters series minors were great.
erm the rest i forgot and i will post again. will have more to say later.



AHAHA okay bye bye.

0806

HAHAHA shall forever remember that number.

mens(es)

i dont like you one bit.
you are too red for me.
i wish you will go away, hopefully by this sunday.
i am still glad you came.
but that doesnt mean i want you to stay.
okay byeeeeee................................

relieved in a way?

tuesday:
trng in the evening, 20 mins run with yunnsin and i leading..... which they said was inconsistent. sorry la i am not a good pacer but i still wanna run in front. hehehehe. erm pullups, yunnsin supported me, i feel so fat without ZIHAO to support me. and then played ball games which i screamed like a mad pig and pissed everyone off. i think i am best at being the catcher of the ball. i HATE ball games. i am just not a ball girl. damn it. HAHAHAHA i went off first with the east siders. and talked damn alot to my new found best friend, who walked with me all the way. and we met a bangla on the way.

wednesday:
HELLO Temasek Canoeists, if u are reading this.
heats for 500m canoeing championships held at macritchie on wednesday.
skipped school for it. and cant deny that i am glad i skipped school. HAHAHA!
i love skipping school. my beloved juniors did well, which is why i feel relieved. like what The King said, this is just a ticket to the finals for qualifying. how well they do in finals is still hard to say. the ticket to the finals does not guarantee anything. it doesnt guarantee that the title of the champions will be ours. on race day itself, everything is unpredictable. and my favourite phrase of the day is: u fit not fat. fit applies only to some people. HAHAHA fat applies to alot of people. HAHAHA so when u fat not fit, u cannot eat so much. HEHEHEHE. i saw for myself, how much the championships mean to my juniors. they are only at most 16years old, but they know they have trained hard for it. everybody wants to win, nobody likes to lose and if u dont work hard towards winning, u can forget about winning............... remember you have to keep believing in yourself. You are fit, not fat. You are fit, not fat, x1000000000000times. HAHAHA
drill that into your head.

nanfeng: if u read this post, u should know how much i believe in you. though i dont know you very very very very well. but there is no point in letting your nerves get the better of you. fear is an important factor in the process of winning. but you must never let your fear get the better of you. do what you think you are best at. long pull, power strokes. slow and steady wins the race. you gotta control the race, play your game. dont be afraid. you have won before. so believe that you can do it again. i repeat, do not get all emotional before the race. believe in yourself. u know u fit, not fat. HAHAHAHAHA! and hor, everytime i go support you all, you always cry before the race one la, why ah. can dont anot? friday u better not cry.... or i wont cheer for you. HAHA

jerrie: hello the queen (: pls ah, dont cry anymore la. u fit not fat okay. so must believe in yourself. why let the tears flow so easily? tmscanoeists, fit one okay. cannot let other people see u cry so easily. you trained so hard for this. you know you can do it. so just focus. focus... remember to focus. if really cannot focus then just try to focus on my voice. i am the the finishing line cheering for you (: cause u want to hear me cheer one lor. bring honey water for me, for my throat. HAHAHAHA i tell u more when i see u on friday.

hazel, joanne: haha the crappiest partners. happy right that you two get to partner each other again. HAHAHA so u must treasure this chance okay. this is the last year. you all graduating liaoZXZzxz. must 'ba wo' this chance. this golden ticket (to the chocolate factory). HAHAHA (: i know u all can is can one la. both like so skinny, surely can pull your own weight. since u all have good starts, so just maintain. dont die down. focussssss. focus on me and come find me at the quickest time possible. heheheheh (:

ONGRUONING: u fit la you. damn fit. i got nth to say la. your experience own me siaaaaaaaaaaa. u is the lao jiao liaoZXz so i cant give u any advice. haha you want me to cheer for you. can! but remember to bring strepsils for me. for my throat. HAHA. u must win. u must win. no swimming so canoeing is everything. must win must win......... okay?! and remember ah. i going to your house to eat and be fat, not fit ):

vino: girls captain. i am sure u are sensible enough so u just go out there and do your best okay. you know you can do it. i am sure you can do it. fit la you also damn fit. hahaha but your calves damn small so run more. HEHEHEH!

to the rest whose name i never mention cause i am old and cant remember anything for nuts. HAHAHA. or like. i never see u all so like i dont know what to say. HAHAHA whether i got mention your name or not, all must jiayou okay and i am not bias lor. never post your name doesnt mean i forget you all hor. i still going down on friday la. see i love you all so much (: HEHEHEHE and brenda, you are damn skinny. and i think u shld stop eating, no point wasting food if u cant grow fat. HAHAHA u skinny, not fat. HAHAHA

EVERYBODY, remember, you are fit not fat. unless you are really fat, then dont live in denial la. okay thanks bye.
(and see! nanfeng and brenda, i never use the Fword. haha happy nottttttttttt?)

overwhelmed

stuck. lost. confused. left alone.

looking through the pictures we took. memories come flooding, overwhelming me.
HAHAHA to think back, we are such vain people. and i hope you remember the good times.
when this began, i never thought we would end up this way. this feeling of awkwardness. the avoidance.... these are some things i can do without. like what denise mentioned, she has to go run to keep her mind off things. or else she will keep thinking of things that she shouldnt. what i shouldnt be thinking of is you. and you are always on my mind. thoughts of you break me. thoughts of you make me smile. thoughts of you make me hurt. and i know i shouldnt be be stupid. whats the point of hiding in my room everytime i get home. avoidance is not the solution and i will be strong. not just for you. but for everyone else who cares.

but baby, you know i love you so. and i will love you. everyday.

height and weight issues

i stand at 166cm and CURRENTLY weigh 56kg (but that fluctuates from like 50-60kg, HAHA joking.)

and i only ask for your height and weight only if i think u are skinny. so be honoured.... for those that i do not ask, its just because i think u are too fat. so sorry...... and for my team mates. i already know your personal details, so i have no need to ask. i am not jealous of other people's height or weight. cause i know i am not fat. whereas, you are all very very fat, whoever you are. HAHAHAHAHAHA

expectationZXz

we do not ask for much in life.
we only ask to be happy.
it doesnt take much to make us happy.
only little things will do.

love

i dont just like you. i love you. so freaking much.

out with my girlziessssss

movie with the girls. HANCOCK. what a cockanathan name-.- anyway, like i mentioned, i went to YS's house in the afternoon and i help her upload the pictures on her friendster. HAHAHA! the nicest thing happened during the movie. i got to sit next to YS AND COACH :D :D hehehehehehehe. Supercoach is damn retarded and he laugh at every single thing. off to slack at makansutra for the next few hours. and macs breakfast. too tired to eat but *coxswain got me a burger, like okayyyyyyyyyyy thanks to you. HAHAHA.

and happy birthday to denise the monster,
and YUNN SIN (: (: (:




coach is my happy pill :D:D:D:D:D

fridaysuckatimes (fridays suck at times)

today is a friday.
today is a good day.
today is the day where i will be going out with my girls.
today is the day where we are gonna celebrate yunnsin and denise's birthday.
HAHA cant wait. cant wait. love you girls plenty (:




let me recall, what would i usually do on fridays last time? after sch, i will lunch with ayf and then go to his place to sleep. and we will laze in bed the whole day and i will end up staying over at his place. okay that is super random. but by typing it here in this blog post. i hope i can capture the memory forever. and let it stay here forever as a reminder that it ever happened. HAHAHA i love ayf still okay.

love failed??

i definitely will wait for you. to talk to me. to give me your answer.


fucking love you, do you get it? but i dont understand what you are afraid of. if this love is as real as you promise me, then we can make it through.

wont get better

why cant things not change?
why cant things stay the same?
why cant feelings remain?
why cant we not grow up?
why do we need to eat?
why am i not fit?
why must he be so hot?
why are so many girls crazy over him?
why do i seem like a lousy girlfriend?
why cant i make him stay?
why must all these happen to me?
why cant we have more hours in a day?
why does love feel like a disease?
why does it feel so wonderful at the same time?
why do people hurt so bad?
why does my heart break itself?
why cant we smile at each other?
why must you avoid me?
why cant we continue being happy?
why did this had to happen?

was i not a good enough girl?
was i too naughty?
did i not treat you well enough?
did i not deserve you?
were we meant to be?
were we not mean to be?

i know this love is real and not an illusion.
i want you so much, AYF. i am crazy over you. from now, till as long as i can feel you.

come what may

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

more potatoesZXzz

not quite over my head.

everything i do, i think about you. i dont know how much longer i can take this. living a life with you in it but not quite in it is messing me up. i got no mood for school and no m ood for every other thing. and i am in the same cca as you. seeing you so near yet so far really kills me. do you know how i feel? seeing you laugh with other people. it m akes me wonder whether i ever really made you happy. did i? will i still be able to make you happy? if you need to study, i can tell you now. i will wait for you. i will wait 2 years for you. for you to finish poly. and i will wait another 2 and a half years for you to complete NS. that's how i feel. but i know i am never gonna get through. i dont know how you feel about me now. i dont know what's on your mind other than studies and training. i think i have been placed at the back of your mind. you can't solve it, so you discard it first. it is okay. it is definitely okay. i can wait. patience is a virtue. and baby, i will gladly wait for you.

so baby i will wait for you. cause i dont know what else i can do. if it takes the rest of my life. if you think i find it just aint true. i really need you in my life. no matter what i have to do. i will wait for you. i will be waiting.

this song just about sums up my feelings right now. playing the waiting game. alone.

noone else

when i saw u today, my heart tore itself into little pieces.
the sinking feeling came back, i felt like vomitting.
and i remembered all the promises made.
i'm gonna keep mine.
and i hope we will turn out fine.
i miss holding your arm.
i miss your hug.
i miss you pinching my cheek.
i miss everything about you.
and i dont think i will ever forget.


this broken heart of mine, in the meanwhile, will keep beating. waiting for your return.

happiest picture for the month of june.

HAHAHAHAHA coach!!!!!!!!!!!!!

look at my arm on coach's waist. HEHEHEHE.

coach is super. coach is super coach. coach is love.

june race potatoes.

TEAM! TEAM!!TEAM!!! TEAM SP!!!


zakikibunZXzzxz :D:D


oooh who is the couple at the back! HAHAHA!


shiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i f-ing love you.


cindreg HAHAHAHorny.


SUAN!!


lats! HAHAHA as if laaa. so small :/


i actually want long hair :D


loversZZZZ.



squuuuuuuuuuats. my knees didnt go over my toes.


secretly geeeeeeekkkkkkk :D:D


standing tall and strong when everything falls.


wah wah wah nice skin colour (:


TEAM LOVE with the supercoach :D