sorry seems to be mundane.

i am that one person.
and you are that one person for me too.
you may not be the one i turn to everytime i have problems.
neither the first to share my joy and happiness with.
you did your part as a friend. as a close friend of mine, to pull me up when i was down.
to travel down to my place just for my bday song and cutting cake session.
guess i never told you how much i appreciate that. i do. i appreciate all the little shits that we do together.
even though i dont show it. even though i pretend i dont care.
but i do care. and i care alot.
we have come a long way. right from the start.
i know we were never very very close. but things got better.
and we got together (:
i remember how we celebrated our first monthsary at gelare.
how we ordered the 8scoops ice cream thingy.
everything that has happened, i dont know what to think either.
maybe i am just very affected by my own problems and tend to make things seem,
even bigger? from my point of view, maybe i saw things too seriously.
this whole business is confusing me.
this whole business was never my business.
i know you long for only one person. only that one.
and that person was the one who made u fall so deep.
the one that you cant ever get over.
i dont know how to protect you. dont know how to take away your heartache.
there are many things i wish to say. but i dont know how to bring it up to you.
i know the things i do annoy you at times.
like drinking loudly. talking incessatantly.
how i can be so insensitive to your feelings. how i blabber non stop.
maybe i was being ridiculous. maybe i am being too sensitive.
maybe i read too much into this. maybe i did misjudge.
its too late to apologize isnt it? the damage has already been done.
all these are just maybes.

i want you to know some definite things i feel.
you are definitely not 'other people' to me.
what i feel for you, you are definitely more than just a friend.
i know for sure my comments hurt you.
and i know i feel terrible whenyou mentioned you are crying over me.
from this, i am sure i mean alot to you. just like how much you mean to me.
i cant say much. cant do much. i can only apologize and wish this would pass.
let me say a very cliche thing.
the problem lies with me, not you.
the problem lies with how i view this whole thing.
not what you did.
not what other people did.

from the bottom of my heart, where you will always stay,
i am sorry.
and i can tell you one thing.
in my bottom of my heart, you will stay.
and no matter how hard it rains.
no matter how heavy the rain gets.
i will shelter you. i will be your float. and you can still count on me.
when they say forever, i think of friends. and you, are one of them.

by typing this post, i do not want anybody to think that i am trying to potray myself as the good person.
cause i know i am not. and i know i did wrong.