HAHA or maybe not.

finally remember what i wanna say already. these past few days hasnt been bad. yet i cant say it has been great. the mood for the event that happened finally got into me and i spend an unfathomnable amount of time holed up in my room and crying my eyeballs out. have i really or have i not? do you still or do you not? cant seem to accept it but i cant seem to do anything about it. this life kinda sucks right now. i got no motivation. no mood. i am not only worried about myself. i am worried for you. please take care. i need help. need love. need you.

enough about my sad life.

eh what i wanna say again ah? oh ya. masters series. juniors rowed for heats and repecharge. HAHA so we got into minor finals. and got first.......... sounds so wahhhhhhh but minor finals only leh ): its okay. i am training hard. at least i know i have done my part for the team. for that particular set, which was our first and last set of the day, it felt so good. like everybody was paddling together. the second ten hard was good. we caught up with austcham and by charging, we were in the lead. i dont understand why people look down on sp. we train hard. we row like hell. is it because we look too friendly? is it because we are not fierce enough? sp is an up and coming name. watch out, i tell you. watch out. be very, very afraid. i feel a surge of annoyance and i am not gonna continue blogging anymore. eh i think i becoming not like meself anymore. sharon is forever surfing anorexic girls in class. i feel fat ): but thats just cause the girls are just too skinny. i know i am not fat. i am glad i didnt have to grow up battling weight issues. i have always been average and, used to be underweight. HAHAHA i think i am having puberty now. they say my face like breaking out. i dont want! ah if got pimple i will kill myself. i guess i am one of the blessed few to have clear complexion but a black face cause i am always in the sun. this freak obsession with tanning is gonna age my skin prematurely and i will look like an old hag. oh mann. and. whats the big idea that my birthday is coming. like what i tell denise, 18 only what. not like i have never done anything before. maybe i want to get drunk. but whats the point of getting drunk on alcohol when i can get drunk on life? okay i can safely say i am a good citizen. i dont do illegal things. 18 is legal. i can drink all i want. club all i want. smoke all i want. erm fuck all i want? HAHAHAHAHAHA but nah i dont want to. what for live so fast and die so young? i realised i digressed alot. HAHAHAHA eh people, wish me happy birthday on the 18th okay. comment me, dont flood my tagboard. HAHAHAHAHA thank you very much. erm back to my point. oh ya. i was running with denise this morning. and i feel the urge to keep running. and running and i left her behind. sorry denise! what am i running towards? or maybe what am i running from? oh i think i eat too much too. but i am not as fat as i should be. HAHAHA in your face. bye. sorry about the whole sarcastic tone of this post. i am just really annoyed cause nothing is right.

love, obviously, isnt as noble as how we make it out to be.