Just fall into me and I will fall into you

I thought it'd be easy but no one believes me.

Good grades didn't assure me a good future because laziness got the better of me. Decided that CCA held a higher place than studies and rejected ip into TJC. Look where I am now? Nowhere :/ it's nit that I don't train hard but no matter how hard I train, there's alway someone out there better than me. Passion can't bring me anywhere in life. Am not going to make the same mistake in life again. I need a degree to get somewhere. That shit piece of paper means so much here. I screwed up half my way in getting it. Nothing else will obstruct me now.

Grhhhhhhhhhhhhh

its been a long while since i last posted here haha kinda cant be bothered with keeping up a blog anymore and not much has been going on in my life anyway. been watching online shows and training. went for 2 overseas races already and achieve some stuff which is all good. POLITE came and went again, sigh i really have no idea how to feel. sp is always a part of me. for now and for always. okay

I REALLY NEED A JOB. LOBANG PLEASE.

finally

after 4 polites with only a bronze to show for it in 2008, 4 june races with only a silver to show for it in 2008, 3 regattas that we qualified for grands and a bronze in opens mixed in 2007, 3savas with a few medals for mixed, and 3 mr500 which i dont rmb much except for sp having 2x20crew boat in 2009, 4ivp jackets (all of different design), 4ivp shirts(dark blue, red, black and gray) i am moving on. Thank you spdb for having been 1/5 of my life. 4 long years. It's time!!!!!!!!! To move on (:

yet another race

its over and official the last ivp race that i am gna row for sp sigh part of me wants to move on yet another part wishes to stay on and continue rowing with them. My first team. I can be considered the first proper batch in a long time to come. Back then when michelle zakkiyah were all still inside. We were so happy rowing together. The 10 of us, yunn sin bernice shiya gwen denise anni suanling and i. Then slowly but surely, others moved on to better thgs in life. And now evryones got their own thgs to do and i am happy too cause fibally its my turn to move on. But my heart still stays right in the very boat the very first time we won.

Because I thought

so this is march and there is me sitting here nursing another heartache once more. please not let it be the curse of the march. sometimes all i want is just to be happy is it that difficult to achieve? or is it me wanting too much.
so these are morning trainings starting again and there is a someone telling me that she wants to spend her time with me too but i dont see how we can spend time together unless she allows me to go look for her because there is no way she can look for me. trainings school trainings school too much responsibilities for a 21 year old to bear. too young for us to carry such a heavy burden.
so this is me, sitting here, thinking wishing waiting hoping against hope that it will turn out well somehow

TGIF

another week down and another week nearer to submission and i can safely say i may complete it but it wont be quality work because even after all these years of chionging like a mad bitch for the last part of project, i am still not learning. i am still blogging when i am supposed to be doing my work god damn it, i am good.

met rachel for lunch today awwww and CNY's next week btw, i have truly outdone myself and i have no idea what the fuck i can do to salvage all these wasted time ooooooohhhhhhhhh i will never ever learn. i just wanna eat sleep gym train all day all night day in day out week after week.