annoyed

nothing ever goes right for me. why! tell me why must things happen at this period of time. where anything can either make or break me. i feel..................................... loser-fied. no such word but whatever...

is true love so hard to achieve? always thought you would be the one. never thought you would ever be the one who would hurt me. never thought you would be the one that would ask for us to TAB. cant say i have been treating you like how you deserved to be treated. i know very well how i treat you. i am not gentle. not nice. not listening to you. i dont wish to compare myself to other people. i think you dont compare me to others either. but i am still afraid. i am afraid i am not up to your standard. afraid i dont deserve you. afraid that after this TAB thing, you wont love me anymore. what am i supposed to do if one day you really leave me. dont wish for that to happen either. i call every night, as soon as i get home. but we dont get to talk at all. i whine about how much i miss you. yet you dont seem to have a reaction at it at all. the way you hang up. are 3 words very difficult to say. i say i miss you. then you say you miss me too. i ask you, is it out of willingness that you said it or was i just too fast therefore i said it first. or you just said it cause i told you so and you didnt want to hurt me. never thought so many what nots would arise from this relationship that we share. maybe it is true then. that we are still too young. but i still beg to differ. i am pretty sure i want to spend my future with you................................. the question is, do you still?

long ago...................potatoes.

zakkybunZxzxz imagining making bunZXzz la.


part of coach's birthday card.


the green pea monsters. look at my peas (: HAHA


classikkkkkkkkkkkkkk. cheap blood in us.


gwen and i from a long time ago (when i has longer hair-.-)



sexy lovin' and i told you all me and shiyaaaaaaa couple liaoZXzxz.


the team grew bigger (:



wah wah wah. we so fit siaaaaaaaaaa.


the 'step' face. forever la you................


heh heh so cute right! we go buy okay?


shiya is secretly a bunny. bernice! she has taken over your position!!


i am forever typing words. no pictures. therefore, i shall post some today. i am so nice. HAHAHA looking at the photos. i miss the past. i miss all the times when the girls were being retarded. lets bring back those times. like what denise said, the girls always get closer during the races. i hope we will bond even tighter now. so that when we drift due to hectic schedules. we wont be so far. HAHAHAHAHA many things have happened recently. the other day i was just talking to shiya about my hair. HAHAHA! i told her i wanted to keep long hair................. teh neh neh neh. i am not out of my mind in case you earthlings were wondering. HAHA then she said 'oh thats cool' or sth along those lines. then i said. but i will shave off my sides first. then she gave me THE LOOK and said. 'oh thats cool too!!' or sth like that. such a fickle minded gfriend i have. HAHA! will post again later. i have plenty of time today. HEH HEH!

hols cominggggggggggggg..... death awaits.

trng was gooooooooooood (: saw ayf at stadium *starts gushing over him* HAHAHA! erm pullups. think i improved. not sure though. must ask those who support me. like shiya, yunnsin or bernice. HAHA! the rest cannot support me, i am too heavy-.-! yes i know. i admit okay? holidays are just next week. i am damn excited yet i am damn worried. other people are having MSTs and june race is coming too. the need to do well is there and therfore we all have to start training hard. MUST INCREASE THE WEIGHTS! shiya can be my teacher. HAHA shi mu! HE H HEH! for the earthlings who want to book me for dates. sorry i am not free. HAHA next week, i have got 2 days free. the week after, 1 day free. and i am planning to work somemore. or else not enough money for........................ food. increament in trainings mean increament in amount of food. HEH HEH! this is a perfect excuse.... nah just joking. gotta start controlling the diet........ damn sian ah. food is my life. HAHAHA!!!! i am a greedy pid. heh heh. pid pid pid. piddies.

i miss you so much i want to cry already.............

sp (erm)

HAHA what i read in her world magazine.

Q: Is it true that you can't get pregnant if you had sex in a shower or swimming pool?
A: Sperm S-W-I-M, not walk, crawl or fly. Of course you can be come pregnant! Even if some meet a premature death in the water, they will be replaced by yet more sperm, valiantly swimming past bodies of dead comrades. Ultimately a few hardy, lucky ones would survive the odds and a baby could be heading your way soon.

HAHAHAHAH!! what made me laugh was the fact that they mentioned that sperm SWIM. just imagine.......

my deep dark secret.

the fun we have together....... the laughters and joy that we share.

actually, i have been loving you. and we are finally a couple (:

HAHAHA shiya i love you. thanks mann!

till death do us part.

let me light up the sky.
light it up for you.
let me tell you why.
i would die for you.
let me make this mine.
i'll ignite for you.
-light up the sky.

you are the sun.
you are my light.
and you are the last thing on my mind.
before i go to sleep at night.
there is no one in this world.
who can love me like you do.
that is the reason that i.
wanna spend forever with you.
i'll be loving you forever.
deep inside my heart you leave me never.
even if you took my heart.
and tore it apart.
i would love you still forever.
-forever.

teh neh neh neh-.-

i had alot to say but i forgot................

hello you. thanks for dinnering with me yday. it has been a long awaited dinner date. the first of june shall be our coming third month. it sounds like a short while. with us drifting closer and also drifting away. but i know you'll still be there for me. HAHAHAHA gossip while stuffing ourselves with sushi. wahlao. you are such a big eater la-.-! i am in awe. HAHA! i need to ask you out to eat more often because i wont feel awkward eating so much then. soft boiled eggs. HEHE! i like!

hello you. thanks for all the encouragement that you have given me the past few days. please do not worry about me because i think i know whats the best for myself. eh you also dont bias la. i am not as good as you think also leh... i know we dont talk very often on the phone or whatever. and you are damn fierce during trainings ): i am damn scared of you. HAHAHAHA but i wish to run as fast as you. HEH HEH!

very tired of wanting to see you. very tired of wishing you'd message or call me. very tired of crying myself to sleep at night. every night. for the past week. my eyes are tired. my heart is tired. but i am still holding on. i know it will get better in time.

filling and empty.

sakae sushi dinner buffet with gwen.................. stuffed and bloated. HAHAHAHA yam mochi ice cream is the suckZxzzxz okay. i only like the skin.

not even for 5 minutes and i went up just to go down.
'then whats the break for?' zai la you....................

taggedddddddddddd..............

The Rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
4. Comment on it.
5. Tag 5 people.

1. How are you feeling today? autumn & me by saving jane.

2. Will you get far in life? better in time by leona lewis.

3. What's your best friend's theme song? what you got by colby o donis feat akon.

4. What is the story of your life? linger by the cranberries.

5. What was high school like? how to save a life by the fray.

6. How can you get ahead with life? poetry by danity kane.

7. What's the best thing about your friends? do it to it by cherish feat sean paul and young bloodz.

8. Describe your grandparents. i dont love you by MCR. (thats not true!! i love them and they love me too.)

9. How's your life going? who i am hates who i've been by relient k.

10. Will you have a happy life? bleeding love by leona lewis.

11. What do your friends really think of you? realize by colbie caillat.

12. Do people secretly lust after you? dear life by anthony hamilton.

13. How can you make yourself happy? like me by girlicious.

14. Will you ever have children? one step closer by linkin park.

15. What song would you strip to? shake your pom pom by missy elliot.

16. What does your mom think of you? break anotha by blake lewis.

17. What is your deep, dark secret? deep and meaningless by rooster.

18. What is your enemy's theme song? curtain falls by blue.

19. What's your personality like? sorry by daughtry.

20. What will be played at your wedding? valentine's day by linkin park.


and i decided not to tag anyone. cause the people i tag will be the about the same people as gwen or shiya or my other closer girls.

stress

i was so stressed i cried in class............... thats how bad. and i didnt cry because of schoolwork. it was because i felt alone...........

loner

you know i cant live/ cant do/ cant survive without you.....................

love hurts

as busy as a bee.
with no time for me.

love hurts. but sometimes its a good hurt. and it feels like. i'm alive.

no title

i know i will miss you when we are taking a break from each other. and i hope you miss me too.

master. my series.

SATURDAY:
rushing project. stayed at macs for 8 hours straight. drawing nonstop.... someone can kill me already. i think i am a pro at drawing trees now............. HAHA!! can ask me to demo, no prob... skipped training. i feel guilty. cause i dont normally skip trainings. i feel bad. anyway, i am kinda glad i skipped it too cause i managed to complete damn alot of shit..... HAHAHA drawing sucks. i suck at drawing, maybe except trees.... heeeeee.

SUNDAY:
masters series. good gauge for us to see where we stood.
first heats: we got 3rd i think. or 2nd. timing was 3:00:?? so we qualified for the repecharge.
repecharge: we got 1st. so we qualified for grand finals. timing was 2:59:??
grand finals: we got last. timing was 3:03:?? i think...
lunched with yunnsin, gwen, suanling, zihao and the ever famous bunZXzxz. AHHAHA! and we got bombed by bad news again la.... zakkybunZXz is gonna die if it ever comes true. stupid bunXZxzxz you nehneh la......

read and shut the hell up.

so tell me. where is the lively conversation that we used to exchange? gone..... lunch was a sordid affair. with me and him eating our own stuff. not even exchanging a glance. not even letting each other try the food. why did it turn out like that? i wish time could rewind and we could be like last time but no. everything has changed and nothing will be the same anymore. i am a very annoyed girl right now. why do you keep chasing me away? am i wasting your time? am i so annoying and unreasonable that you cant even spend a little more time with me? why cant i be as important? studies are important. training is important. but cant you even spare some time to communicate with me? communication........ it is what we lack. care and concern. yes it is there but it isnt shown. why has everything turned out like that? should we have never started? why is this relationship going to the bogs? cant we cope with studies, dragonboating and this relationship? i dont wish to put the blame on anyone. i can say i have tried. but have you? do you even try to communicate with me? psp games. fifa street. is it more addictive than me? love................ love............. love..................? my ass. where is the love. with no communication, how we going to spread the love. damn it. i have no idea how to keep it going, keep us going. tell me how? you never talk to me. you never take the initiative to talk to me. sometimes i wished i were your friend instead your gf. what the fuck is a gf anyway. i dont even feel like one anymore. you dont talk to me. you dont show you care. hell! you dont even want to acknowledge me. you dont even bother looking at me. why is this so? am i such an eyesore? am i very ugly? am i very fat? i feel so stupid. HAHA maybe i am thats why i fell for someone way above me. maybe you are stupid that's why you like me, that's why you claim you love me, a piece of rubbish- like what you said the other time. right. so when am i gonna feel the love again? this loveydovey feeling, it comes and goes. it never stays....... i wish for it to stay but it doesnt. i am a depressed little kid. i am hurt. i am sad. i cry myself to sleep, but you have no idea. cause you never ask. and even if you do ask, i deny but you dont probe. why dont you ever ask about me? whenever we hold phone conversations, you never talk. awkward silences feel the whole room. i am running out of topics to talk about. why am i the one holding the conversations and you never open up your mouth. the only things you ever say to me is that i should take care. i know i should. i do try to take care. but my standard of taking care of myself is not like yours. and you never believe mine is up to standard. why? am i so inferior to you? do i look like i do not know how to take care of myself? maybe i am just not as skeptical of others, that's why i do not think too much. you on the other hand. paranoid...... paranoia will kill us someday. and that day will come upon us soon. i dont think you believe i am good enough for you. sorry i am not good enough for you. dont think i ever will be...................sorry.


this fucking post will not be spread around. so just shut the fuck up and dont ask me what is wrong. nothing is wrong. how can there be anything wrong? get on the wrong side of me and you are dead. i am pissed so get away from me. yes you. you, you and you. FUCK THIS WORLD. nothing goes right for me ever. fucked up world.

trainings.....................hurt

due to my toe. i couldnt run. had IT when i walked to class this morning. unlucky ): masters this sunday. 2nd series of the whole masters. training this saturday. better chiong project. i am left with colouring, lots of drawing, scanning, photoshopping and i got to compile everything into 4slides. luckily we dont need to print out the panels. 4 A1 panels, wah wah wee ah! that will cost a bomb. i am a poor kid. does that sound like little to do? HAHA i can assure you it is not....... my pullups suck. i suck........ i am a depressed little kid. watched a video on giving birth in class yesterday. sharon intro to us. oh mann. the video turned me off so much i decide i dont want to give birth the natural way. i would wanna do a c-section but it will hurt too. argh! can we adopt please? but then it'd be different...... cheh............... i want kids la. i can feel my maternal instincts kicking in. HAHAHA to have kids means to HEHEHEHE. but i shy-.-! just joking. like what someone told me. we are still young. still young..................?? i am not prepared to have a kid now but i wont mind looking after little kids. i like to carry them. unless they start shouting in my ear, then they get it from me. after training, pushups as punishments and more to come during other trainings. juniors were alright. they are getting better (: jiayou bah. had maggi mee. i am sick and tired of instant noodles. but boh bian. training end so late. all the stalls close liaoZXzxz la. trained home with zakkybunZXzx and germaine, cheryl and ruifang. had fun on the train. but the bond wasnt there yet. zakky!! i think you are scaring the juniors. HAHAHAHA while walking to bathe, yellow man was walking back to club. and zakky.................... was smiling from ear to ear. ZAKKY! dont think i didnt see what happened. BRIBE ME!! and i will keep my mouth shut. HAHAHAHA!



are we so young that we are not sure of what we want, what we need, what we yearn for? coming 18years of age, young i may be. but definitely old enough to know that i wouldnt want this just to be a fling. a short relationship. coming almost 7months, whatever we put in, is it going to end up in nothing in the future? yes short compared to others that you have had. but long enough a time to make me sure that i do want to spend the future as us, not just me or you. are we so young that we dont know what's our heart's desire? 18 is definitely old enough an age for the heart and head to work as one. i am pretty sure this isnt just an infatuation, nor a trick of the mind. this is not a mental illness that i am suffering from...... i am sure i want it to be us but i am not sure about us. i am not sure about anything anymore........... because you dont assure me. because there is no time anymore. because there is never enough time. not enough hours in a day. 24hours a day seem to pass in a flurry. no time to do anything. we can do nothing at all.........

blogger's timing is screwed. and i am pissed.

somebody is going to die.

I say: oh u not trng?

you know why! says: yah

you know why! says: i got quiz tml

you know why! says: so

you know why! says: i gtg study now

you know why! says: haha

you know why! says: bye bye!

you know why! says: have fun!

you know why! says: run faster!!

you know why! says: whoosh!

I say: i run very slow meh?

you know why! says: no la

you know why! says: you just dun run like a rhino

you know why! says: not that you are running like a rhino cuz youre not

you know why! says: but dun run like a rhino or dun attempt to be a rhino

you know why! says: one rhino is enough

you know why! says: hahahahahhahahahahahahaha



now who is going to die?

words..................

i have got alot to say. but some things are meant to be kept inside. if i said them, things wont be the same again.

(inserts name) : sorry if i appear too dependent on you. cant help it but to call you.
(inserts name) : thanks for being there. true i shouldnt be bothered about it. and i cant be dubbed a loser. i am not bothered by it. i am not.
(inserts name) : you have been annoying. keep away from me. stop viewing me.
(inserts name) : you are not a big shot. please keep your comments to yourself. i like can already.
(inserts name) : get well soon and come down for training. you are very important.
(inserts name) : you suck for keeping such a big news from me.
(inserts name) : i think you are damn pretty and you have big eyes.
(inserts name) : stop wearing my stuff. its mine, for a reason.
(inserts name) : dont be so bias can or not?
(inserts name) : i need to talk on the phone, so let me use the phone at night.
(inserts name) : you are damn skinny and i wish to be like you, but i cant-.-!
(inserts name) : i dont think you are pretty at all. tyvm.
(inserts name) : i think you have changed alot.

bolster : thanks for being there every night. love hugging you to sleep la.
pamela: you shut up. said too much already. stop being a bitch.

unglam to the max.

this picture.......................... i like my mouth.

this picture............................... poor people eat instant noodles-.-



AND,
photo credits to ice.

rhythm of life.....................

why! wont you say you miss me when i call. ahhhhhhhhhh! sometimes, you can be so dumb. or maybe you know. but you dont wish to say it. sorry but i cant live with not seeing you. yes call me clingy or whatever. i am like that.......................

tuesdays....................

training on tuesdays. did sprintingZXzz which totally killed my toes and their nails. 200m and i got owned by shiya, denise and suanling-.- yessssssssssssssss i suck at running......... i lead a sad life. need to improve sprints. need to improve sprintZXzz. NEED TO NEED TO. i am such a throw face can-.- shuckzxZxzxz. anyway. i am wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy behind time for my project due next tuesday, which is the 27th. and i still need to compile everything into photoshop. and i havent completed the everything. i am so screwed. pullups increased to like..............30 from 20? and 10 is a huge increase in case any earthlings think 10 is nothing. well 10 is a big deal to me okayyyyyyy. i am weak. after training, i bought barley black tea. tastes healthy....... and i quite like it. well i am trying to delude myself into thinking i have aqcuired a taste for healthy stuffZXzxz. arghhhh!! anyway, ice was a bugger la. like............... she is damn annoying. and she has this camera which she uses to snap totally unglam picts of us. wahlaooooooooo!!! ice, if you are reading this, which i am sure you are not............... you die. next training you die, i tell youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. anyway, ice is damn pervert la. she wanna bathe with shiya and snap picts of shiya bathing-.-!! yaaaaaaa. presentation in the morning. TA MA DE..................... totally hate presentations............... totally spoiled my plans to go over to ayf's. i am damn sad laaaaaaaa ):

random potatoes

HAHAHA i like, you like?

the clownfish is the cutest thing. RIGHT?

nailssssssssssssssss

i have a very important news to tell the earth. my toenails are officially dead. like DEAD. DEAD! okay then again, maybe not dead. ah! firstly, the second toe on my right feet is like. all gone. so i have like no nails at all on that toe? like maybe only 1mm of it left on my toes. and then! another piece of shit happened to me. the big toes. the nails broke. like HALF of it gone. and that happened to both my left and right feet okay. i mean like i already feel self concious enough about my alien toes. and i have been trying really hard to grow out my nails. but this shit had to happen. and now i have ugly toenails AND ugly toes. life sucks at this point of time. it is gonna take damn long to grow out la. how bad can it get? i hate my toesssssssssssssssssssss, currently. at other times. i think my toes are damn unique and cool okay. and i have like the longest toes ever. they are so long and bone-y. like. anorexic toes................. how i wish i were as skinny as my toeZXzxzx. anyway my toes have a shapely figure okayyyyyyyyyy. HAHAHA! will post some ugly pictures up when i finally take a picture of my toes and nails. HAHA!

what i did.............

friday:
school. slacked in class. lunched with ayf and friends. fish and chips...... make me feel like vomitting. but ayf says the portion is bigger. more value for money so i decided to get it. wrong choice. i think chicken chop nicer.......... chicken owns fish anytime. beat fish flat! FLAT! then i went to work. and ayf and friends took the same train as me. friends meaning not-so-fit shawn and that weisiong. they went to tp la. ayf sucks right? while i am off working and trying to make money to support our life, he is off looking at girls in tp....... goooooooooooooood husband right? TAMADE! work was slack. did the set up for the upcoming meetings. my toes are uglyyyyy. after work, i went to ayf's house to stay. goooooooooooooooood night(; but we slept on the floor. so pathetic right. but got the cosy feeling la. so its not bad also. but the pillow keep sliding off from under my head can. so irritating.

saturday:
training in the afternoon. seniors 2-4pm, juniors 4-6pm. tried different partnering with denise and bernice. damn stressed to pace with both of them. sorry to make shiya kayak. next time i kayak ok! love you! sorry! eh, went to ayf's to stay. washed my shorts and SB at his place. dried in time for training on sunday! goooooooooooooooooooooood night too ;D wah damn shiokkkkkkkkkk la. stayed over like 2days in a row. HEH HEH. i like lehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

sunday:
training in the morning. was damn tiring. accompanied shiya and gwen to cut their hair. as usual current-tpcpc got lost and i had to direct her. shiya sucks at directing directions la..... cabbed there. courtesy of zihao. shiya went dating on the bus...... HAHAHA zihao, gwen and i outcasted the lovebirds. HEH HEH! sorry la. the bags had to take up one seat too right? then they go cut hair. i was dozing off. met yuanfeng at tp (tanjong pagar). errrrr. took a nap. no gooooooooooooood afternoon ): HAHAHAHA. his parents invited me for dinner. but i politely declined. went home and found out my sister and mother went shopping. and my sister got the same wallet as my mother, and now i am tempted to get it. i should right? but what if it doesnt suit me? i am tempted to get it. will get it i think. ahhhhhhhhhhh. no must save money for present. maybe i should not buy present. HAHA cannot la must buy la. important also leh. ahhhhhhhhhh!! internal conflict...........

monday:
slept the whole day. visited grandmother. my poor brother had plain rice for dinner cause he didnt like the dishes. too bad. serve him right....... cut my hair. but abit no difference. in search of really cheap tidbits. recommendations anyone? and i just realised that the 8th is on a freaking sunday which means training................
TA MA DE.............

):

WORK still sucks and the worst thing is i have to work at 2pm later. i mean it is a good thing that i work so i have money to buy and buy and buy and shop and shop and spend money on my loves HAHAHA i would if i could and yes my dearest dragongirls, i am serious! you want me to list out what i will get?

zakky, skin whitening lotion or some lotion that will make your skin turn yellow like........
yunnsin, get a nice car for her, preferably 8 seater, so she can drive us around HEH HEH!
anni, pay for her braces and operation to make her ears smaller and force her to continue in db.
gwen, pay for counselling for her beach at home HAHAHA gwen u likeZxzzx?
denise, make her go for surgery for her to have a higher forehead HAHAHAHA!!!
shiya, make her go for yoga lessons so she can stretch more and touch her toes without bending her knees.... oh and buy a helicopter for her so she can come to tamp everyday!
bernice, BRACES la what else. who did i miss out?
suanling, buy a SUPER big alarm so she will not oversleep anymore and attend trainings...

SEE I SO LOVE YOU ALL LAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

if only i had unlimited amount of money. ANYWAY! i think i am going to force ayf to make a birthday wish like............... i wish pam had more money so she will stop spending mine-.-! so mean right. but i think he secretly thinks that way........ even though he doesnt say it out loud. damn. the 8th is like. in three weeks time. a budget of 20...........cents will be spent on the present?!?! as all of the normal human beings should know. i cant save money for nuts. like CANNOT at all. even if i manage to save today, i will spend it tomorrow. AHHHHHHH! i need like a money tree. then when i shake , all the money will drop. and the tree should grow super fast. HEHEHE so i can spend freely. oh, you may think i am so supeficial. so bimbotikkkkkk. so retarded. so fake. so wannabe a wannabe. but i can assure i am. NOT. thankyouverymuch. ehhhhh i mean like. i dont wish to spend so much. BUT, with the inflation. you know! the royal umbrella brand for rice went up to $26.80 from $18.65? wahlao. see?! i want to save money also cannot! even the FairPrice bran for a 5kg bag went5 up, from $5.75 to $6.50!! this is bad, like......... very bad. see! i know the worldly affairs. so not bimbooooooo at all. HAHA nonsense. okay bye. i am off to have lunch. and then work. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. speaking of work. damn sad case la. thought i could spend some time with ayf. before his training. but i guess that is not to be. i am a depressed little kid. damnnn. need more loving time with ayf. yes i sound like a love sick little beach. be rest assured i am. this time i am. but i am not a beach, bitch.

dragons spotted at Gv marina.

this is the number of dragons that caught ironman. and how did we catch ironman? we became irondragons, flew to the skies and caught him and then stole his cars and drove off. HAHAHAHA lame i know-.-

HAHAHA notice the three small girls being outcasted by all the boys? how ungentleman can they be?

let me tell you two things about SPDB guys.

1. they like to 'qiang jing tou'.
2. they like to flex their muscles.(but not in this pict, refer to previous post 'team singapore polytechnic'.)

TOP SECRET

oh no! yuan feng's birthday is coming and i have no idea what to get him. any ideas? i need ideas. but he wont be free on his birthday as he has a wedding dinner at night. and i was still thinking of giving him a surprise at night-.-! and he has to go to the ROM the day before. ah! such a spoiler.
and i still love you no matter what. though you spoil all my plans. stupidboy. thanks for the past 6mths together. good timesssssss.

HAHAHA! i am here to proclaim that i love my dragonboat girls. and i have no idea that i would meet you girls here in poly. i am very happy and i wish that this bond that we forge will never ever be replaced. i know it sounds very cliche. and corny. but what i feel for you all is more than just a feeling. i love you all girls (: really. even though we may not be able to spend time together or whatsoever after we get into third year. but i still hope that everyone of you know that you wont be replaced in my heart.

denise, for being the east sider and the one that i joined dragonboat with. we may have drifted apart and we are not so close anymore. cause we are both busy with our own stuffs. now that you are in a different course and i hope you will do well in this course. BE rocks. right? you better say so and stop going to SB okay! and you are my partner for pacing now! HAHA lets train hard together!

anni, you were the pacer. and you might not even read this blog cause you keep getting the address wrong. you suck-.-! anyway, i can tell you, after you left. things have been really different. pacing with denise is just different from pacing with you. even though you are really nice to bully. and you are also in BE, but i dont ever see you around. and when you work, please take care of yourself. you are so small and skinny, it breaks my heart la. and if muaythai ever bullies you, tell us okay? SPDB girls will always be there for you.

shiya, you are damn fierce and i am damn afraid of you-.-! please dont kill me when you see this. HAHA water purification! environmentalist(: heh heh. anyway, even though you have a short temper. you still can never be replaced la. remember the neoprints that we took last time? so young and innocent then. HAHA not that we are not young and innocent now. but yeah. last time cuter la. without all the muscles. you know that i have got your back whenever you fall okay?

yunnsin, the vicecaptain. the mama to all of us. you take care of all of us as if we are blood sisters. for that i am really thankful for you. you go al out to help us. and this action definitely speaks louder than words. even though i am really annoying at times and i dont listen to you. you know that i respect you deep inside my heart. it's kinda hard for me to behave and submit. but i will try and make your job less taxing okay?

gwen, cyclone. grinder. HAHAH bet you are going to kill me when you read this. ever since denise went to langkawi, smit prep camp and smit camp. we became closer. dont know whether you were taking me as a replacement for denise or whatever. but i never told you that i am really thankful for this friendship that became deeper. even though you are annoying and rather demanding at times. you know i will still be there for you no matter what!

bernice, the bimbo in the team. gwen can be bimbo number2! okay? we were not close in the beginning. and now that we are closer. i am very happy. though we dont talk alot during trainings or after trainings or call each other on a daily basis. it's just the little things that matter. like how we wait for the 2 idiots for them to end trainings. and have heart to heart talks during the wait. it's not the amount of time that we spend talking but rather the quality of the talk. talking to you always makes me feel better. like how you understand how i feel, even though sometimes you are really slow and make me very exasperated. but you know you can tell me anything under the sun(:

suanling, you are damn guai lan. but i know you are a gentleman at heart. and you will definitely not get to read this cause you dont even know that i have got a blog-.-! you suck too! HAHA please come for more trainings or i wont be able to post much about you. what an ass. stop over sleeping and missing trainings. discipline ah! i can see your passion for DB and i know you are really trying hard for weights. lets jia you together. you butchhhhher-.-! HAHA

zakkybun, the reigning captain. i know you secretly happy that i call you captain. and even though you bombed us with bad news (no i havent gotten over it), you will still be the captain. and if the bad news ever ever ever comes true. be assured everyone else will do the same things okay! stop being the secret slacker! and plan more and stop letting yunnsin kill her brain cells. you are secretly useless. HAHA ALL BRAWN NO BRAINS! heh heh. just joking. anyway, you look really stupid when you kayak, especially when you think you are going to capsize. HAHAH! and please study hard okay! final year leh....... come for more trainings. HAHAHA!

ashley and angel, cant really say much. cause i dont see you all often. please manage your time well and dont fall ill! squash, dragonboating, and studies are really hard to manage. plus this is the final year! jiayou!

little cloud

today i shall talk about denise neo @ hoe xiao yun. also known as grinder (:
you know for posting this picture i am gonna get killed. by both you and the cyclone HAHAHA!
i got to know denise a very long time ago. like in secondary school cause all my primary school mates went there. but we didnt communicate much. i think her first impression of me was rather bad. like........ i am an ah lianZXz. can you believe that. oh my lord! i remember i snapped her bra. HAHAHA then she secretly hated me like since then and even until now. we met again at SPDBFOcamp07/08. and then we forged a bond that i thought could never be replaced. it started off with the four of us. me, her, shiya and anni. during camp, she had her jay chou while tarzan appeared cool to me. HAHAHA! during camp, we stuck to each other like bees to flowers. zakkybunZXzx was her GL, along with khim. and my GLs were geraldine and cristian. HAHAHA zakkybunZXz admitted to me and denise that she always had a hard time finding denise when it was time for the groups to gather. HEH HEH! and denise is with me all the time. and we would MIA. anyway, time passed. and i saw her fall deeper into jay. heartbreaks were inevitable for her because jay never forgot his jolin. HAHAHAHA. this sounds like a sob story. anyway, things changed after the penang trip and. she got over jay in time to come. next came the beetle. and she escaped from home to have night studies at macs. that was the beginning of romance between the east siders. anyway, by that time. me and denise werent very close anymore. cause she had this TP thing with gwen. but it was okay. cause you know i am still there even though i cant reads your mind for fu*k's sake. HAHA i am just not a mind reader. anyway! after beetle came aids the spreader. because of his annoying-ness and irritating-ness and his disease. it was over soon before long. now she has a bamboo pole as her BF(: and she is always betraying BE and going to SB. so evil right! this denise!! and she is always having an affair behind bamboo's back. with gwen, with yunnsin! she wants to steal my yunnsin. HAHA. anyway, i am happy for her cause she found someone who will treat her well and reciprocate her feelings. you got what you deserved girl! AND!!! denise, if you are reading this. you know that i have got your back okay? i will still be there whenever you need me. east siders should stick together yo and besides we are only one stop away! and you know! blogger is being very annoying so i cant upload your pictures? like i have been waiting for a gazilion years. and this post sounds more like about your love life. anyway, i am sorry if i posted some stuffs you dont want others to see here. will remove it if u tell me to. yeahhhhhhhhhhhh and. you know i love you. even though i never say it. HAHA!

worst day of my life

i got damn pissed yday.
how annoying can younger sisters get?
she keeps wearing my bra.
she wears it to school.
she wears it when she gets home.
she wears it after she bathes.
and she wears it when she sleeps.
and she refuses to let my mother wash it.
helloooooooooo!! like it's MY bra, damnit. i am damn annoyed. so freaking annoyed. now you may think i am selfish and i dislike her alot. but the truth is when i borrow her things, she expects me to bring it to wash. and TWO of my bras are with her okay. one is thrown somewhere and not being washed. the other one is on her. now, i wouldnt mind so much if MM had paid for my bra. BUT I BUY MY OWN BRA. and my sister likes to spend money buying SPORTS bra when she doesnt even exercise. like. WTFFFFFFF. tell me how pissed i can get? and when i try asking her to return my bra OR bring it to wash. she gets pissed at me. KNS LA SHE. CCB! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!! damn it.

another person pissed me off. tell me. am i really that ugly? why do i feel like you dont wish for others to know that we are together? why do you bother taking the initiative to talk to other girls, even if they are your group mates? why why why? stop giving my crap excuses like i was too far away so you couldnt find me to talk. or that because she was your group mate and that's why you talk to her. so a status as a girlfriend is lower that the status of a group mate? DAMNITTTTTT! damn pissed damn pissed. i wish to give you one tight slap but apparently that would make me seem like i am a jealous monster. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. stuck in a rut. what should i do? no! it is NOT that i get jealous easily. i am just jealous of the fact that you took the initiative to talk to her. bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-stard. KNN! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

sorry ah, at the end of the day i am still a girl right. i still need your pampering and pacifying. why wont you give it to me when i already made it clear that i wanted you to. how ass-y can you get?!

vicecapt and capt.

this muscle woman here is the captain of the girls' team. she is very scary.
and she does like. impossible amounts of weights. if you are paired up with her for weights trainings, i guess i should say, try to survive. YES! that is how scary she is. and even more scary is the fact that she spies on us little humanoids. like for example, if she reads this post (which i am sure she will), i think i will die next training. but i still like making fun of her skin colour. i think i am damn mean but whatever. oh shucks. i think i am really gonna die. goodbye earthlingZxzzxz. anyway, this zakkybun!! after being MIA for 2 months, and leaving us in the lurch. she came back to bomb us with a bad news which has since turned into good news (: HAHAHAHA. her name is zakiyyah banu. and all of us little earthlings call her zakkybun. isnt it full of affection! zakkybun loves to make bunZxzxzzxz and her friendster. does not have a decent picture of herself. i think she is actually very pretty. long live the captain! i think the most sexy part of zakkybuns are her buns. HAHAHA just joking!! i think zakky's eyes are sexyyyyyyyy!

this unglam person here happens to be my vicecaptain. actually she is usually not this unglam and i have absolutely no idea what happened to her. i think her mind got invaded by aliens. HAHAHA! she does all the planning for the trainings. at least that is what i found out. the real captain is a slacker. anyway. yunnsin happens to be a very caring friend. she goes all out to help her friends and she is just like a big mummy to us. and i happen to be the small kid. yunnsin will buy 1.5l of evian mineral water for us to share during trainings and you can never miss her banana walnut loaf. or raisin loaf. and there was once she even bougth fruit and nut loaf for us. like...... fruit and nut loaf is damn expensive. and i am the cheapskate that takes all her bread HAHA. yunnsin's mother is very important to her and she will miss dinner with us so that she can go home and accompany her mother. she is a cancer just like me and denise. and her birthday falls on the same day as denise. while mine is about 2 weeks or so after theirs. yunnsin was the captain of basketball. and she will be future captain of the girls' team. i think people who can play ball are cool therefore she is cool. HAHA! i am serious! and not being sarcastic. yunnsin claims i am her EX wife ): cause of my current affairs. but i have no affairs. i love my vicecaptain okay! HAHAHAHA mwahhhhhh!! <3

senses

so yesterday i went to school. like finally there is school but that is not the point. i went to school. supposed to finalize my layout but apparently, i was doing nothing in class as usual. went for lunch at foodcourt3 with yunnsin. and the most puzzling messaged bombed me. michelle messaged me!! asking me whether i wanted to meet her and zakkybun. HAHAHA i thought we were going to make buns. YAY! i went out with them and yunnsin, after i got over the initial shockkkkkkkkkkk!! felt so weird la. like. a lowly member, going out with the captains and vice captain. (no i am not sucking up to them by going out with them.) ayf pissed me off in the morning. we were supposed to meet at 930am at TANJONG PAGAR mrt station. he woke up and 845am. and arrived at 1015am. wtf you tell me. LIKE ITS SO NEAR HIS PLACE AND HE WOKE UP EARLY. SO WHY WAS HE LATE? i probed for the reason. and he said. he was dilly dallying at home. ahhhhhhhh!! i tell you, i am damn pissed. damn pissed. urgh >:( so pissing. there is training later on. heh heh. i think today's trng will be damn tiring? ahhhhhhhhh. i was thinking last night. how many people in this world will go train willingly and still proclaim they love dragonboat even after they have been doing the same things for a few years? even i cannot do that even though my passion is there, sometimes i do wonder what am i doing, waking up so early in the morning and going for trainings.

(insert name) : back stabbing is definitely not allowed in the team. so do not do this to anyone at all. what is said between us is supposed to be kept between us. do follow the training plans. heavy weights means heavy weights.

weekends

stayed over at ayf's on thursday. ended up waking up late on friday. therefore no school again. he went for trng in the evening while i ended up meeting lynette. who made use of me to get the 20% discount from NUM cause she got a pair of havianas. HAHAHA cheapppppp! just joking. she has a friend who has another friend who can get 50% discount. eh i also want to know that friend(:(:(: introooooooooo okay lynette? saw ver!! lynette tried to intro me as a butch. like =_=!! i am standing next to her. HAHA so not butch when compared to her pleaseeeeeeeee.

saturday:
met shiya at 11 for weights. lo and behold! gwen denise and zakkybun were there at the train station too. so we did weights together. weights can kill-.-! maybe i am just not fit enough? went to KLP for lunch. met the year ones at kallang station. brought them to SDBA. took them for running with me leading. hope i wasnt too fast or what. statics were laughable. went for kayaking with shiya and beeeee. while the gwen denise and yunnsin took them for DB. went to meet rain for dinner. ended up buying donuts for dinner.

sunday: MOTHER'S DAY.
trng in the morning. running. 8sets of 1000m. ohmylord! went for ironman at marina with db guys and girls. make it 3 db girls. me yunnsin and gwen only-.- HAHA. went to put booking for work. need to work. alot of things to get. ahhh! damn it. went home after that.

initiative to quarrel

it seems so weird that i quarrel with ayf over the smallest things ever. i remember there was this incident where we were on the train and then we were standing and then we just stood there. without moving. without holding hands or what. no hugs nothing. not even talking. then i got so annoyed. i was thinking. why couldnt he hug me or hold my hand or make an effort to talk to me? this is so frustrating. yes tired. yes busy. oh and guess what the most common excuse is? he was thinking of it all along, just that he didnt do it. how annoying can he get right. i like other people to take the initiative. i like people to hold my hand. you may think it is boring. but sometimes, its just the little things that matter. i know i may not always do things right. but! i know i do things right, at times, right?
heck. even i asked him to get together with me. (okay you earthlings can salute me now, what a brave soul i am.) but apparently he rejected me. HAHAHAHA-.- and then he asked me a few days later. it was a very sweet memory. why am i typing all these now? because a phone conversation with his sister made me recall all these. not that i have forgotten it all. i wonder, why did i start liking him. maybe it was because he had an infection on his right thigh the other time, then my heart ached for him. maybe it is a zodiac thing, i am cancer by the way. HAHA maybe my motherly instinct kicked in to yearn to look after him, yes, i think that was how i started liking him. or maybe the feeling was there long ago. but i never let it surfaced. HAHAHA! MM always says that if i meet ayf everyday, there will bound to be a break up soon. but i dont believe. i mean, how can anyone stand not seeing their love for such a long period of time. i cant imagine what i am going to do when he goes to NS(provided we last that long). ahhh! imagine meeting only once or twice a week. i will just kill myself and die please. nah, just joking. never really mentioned when did me and ayf get together. i do not want this to be such a self absorbed post. but i cant help it. anyway, it was on 4th of november. and yes, i know i kept you dbgirls in the dark for very long. but i just wasnt ready to tell other people. didnt want others to judge me. didnt want any comments. sorry! was pleasant the way he asked. 3rd november was Regatta. and i was rushing my proj through the night. he was sweet enough to wait up for me. by the time i finished, it was already 3 or 4 plus in the middle of the night. then we went to sleep together. what happened next is for me to know and for you to find out. *evil laugh* anyway. after we finished everything(whatever it may be), he asked me. when we were both so tired and sleepy. i was shocked. feeling scared that there may be other reasons as to why he asked. but. i agreed. HAHAHA!
to be continued............? anyway. i digressed alot on this post. was supposed to be a post about quarrelling, but whatever, HAHAHA(:

thursday

trng later. freshies coming. enough said.

team singapore polytechnic

team singapore polytechnic.
seniors from the team. all looking happy together. i hope that we can forever look this happy and not have conflicts within the team. afterall it is still a team, right? anyway, ayf is in front. haha so cute!! ah! he smiles very nicely. and sorry la. taken by me, hehhehheh!!

birthday girl

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! feng's sister.

be good okay, now that you are 16. i wanna be 16 too. it seems so long ago. boo! see you soon. and sorry i didnt get a present for you. i was over at your place yday. but i didnt get to wish you cause you were asleep. doubt you will see me tonight. anyway hope you enjoy your dinner. i heard that there is pork porridge. HAHAHA having exams on tomorrow right right right! please study hard and do well. OH i know! i got the best present for you. my timing for my fitness test 2.4km run. HAHAHA better than your timing. arent you proud of me? okay happy birthday meimei. be a good girl. okay bye. go study now.

wednesdayzXzxzxz

report writing class now. damn cold in class. t321! so if you are ever going there, please bring a bloody jacket along. tmr freshies coming for first training. HAHAHA yday the run at the stadium was good la. i can conclude that i cant do short distance for nuts. i do not like short distance. boo. i must improve my timing for 2.4km. stadium was crowded yday. many many people. handsome ones. heh heh i am talking about me. just joking. alot of people joined spcp. quite alot in track also. i hope the intake for spdb's first trng is good. cause i am pretty sure the number will decrease in time to come. but i hope that wont happen either. ya?

fitness test-_-!!

i dislike fitness test. i dont like it at all. i am so not fit. i do not wish to be unfit. i want to be fit like. shiya. or denise. but my current aim is to be like shiya. minus the violent 'fuck yous' hahah! she is going to kill me when she sees this post but!! i hope i can stay alive to be as powerful as her.
why didnt i mention yunnsin or zakkybun? cause they havent take the fitness test mah-.-! yunnsin had the red sea yday. and zakkybun was making buns at home. HAHAHA! just joking. she was calling the freshies. and its so unbelievable. some actually said that they didnt remember writing down their names. like hello. do they have senile dementia or sth? please try to remember what you did okay. this sounds so ridiculous. if you didnt write it. then who did? and how come your phone number would be on the list? how retarded can earthlings get? anyway. back to my fitness test. the only station i am happy with is the 2.4km run. as usual my inclined pull ups suck. i just reached the minimum and decided to stop. no point wasting energy on IPUs then cannot do my push ups. haha! i think that my amount of sit ups damn cool okay! all the statics we do during normal trainings helped. HAHAHA (: thanks ah coach. BUT SAYING THAT. I DONT MEAN THAT YOU GET TO ROW JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DO MANY SIT UPS OR PUSH UPS OR PULL UPS. ITS THE OVERALL FITNESS. STAMINA. ROWING TECHNIQUE. PAM GET IT ONTO YOUR HEAD. okay. i went to yuanfengs place to stay. and we both fell asleep like in 5minutes. and he didnt hug me to sleep. how annoying. okay bye.

piggy

the survivors

actually there were 10 piggies.

1:anni

2:gwen

3:ashley

4:pamela

5:angel

6:yunn sin

7:zakky bun

8:shiya

9:denise

10:bernice

but piggy1, 3, 5, 8 and 9 had to leave early. haha.

oh make it piddy instead of piggy. hahhaha!

tuesdays again

i dislike tuesdays. its a long day. from 10-5. and after 5 there is trng. not that i dislike trngs. sometimes i think i go to school just for dragonboat trngs. i know that sounds a bit lifeless. haha train train train. but i like. maybe i am used to it. training so much. that when there is no training i dont know what to do ): need help. i think i am addicted to dragonboat. ahhhh!

sch again

i wanna go home.
i miss my bolster. i know things change. people change. feelings change. therefore i think we should make good our promises before everything changes. we cant have the best of both worlds. i realized that. therefore i wanna tell you. the thing we shared. and i hope we still share is more than just a feeling. hold my hand and walk with me. be it for the next few weeks. few months. few years. i want to tell you. thanks. for everything.

spdbcampppppppppppppppppppp

camp is finally over. three days. cca drive is also over. last week seemed like the holidays for me. skipped class like nobody's business. got alot to catch up on, i guess. better catch up or else i am dead meat. HAHAHA. fitness test tmr. i am prepared to die. gooooooooooooooodbye earthlings. peektures of the camp will be up soon.
anyway camp was okay i guess. freshies still freshies la. so cannot expect them to be pro yet right? rowing technique wasnt there yet. that will be up to us seniors to teach them. coach cant do everything by himself also la.
last day of camp was me and ayf's half a year anni. 4th of may. time flies. half a year already. i hope we can pull through yes? i am hungry now. i got no money. i want to eat. please everybody. donate one dollar each can already. i dont feel like giving a detailed update on the camp. for what. my friends also went for camp la. my life is mainly about the DBgirls anyway. so what i experienced, they did too what. sch sucks. wanna quit. but kinda stupid la. without even a diploma and just a o's cert, where can i go? dont wish to be stuck in oriental for the rest of my life. roar.

peekssss

this is my deardearZXzxz (:(:(:

we are secretly bimboZXzxzxzz/:

love is gonna get you down

peole do extreme things in the name of love. love is kind. love is patient. love... what is love? it has been proven that love shows the same signs as mental illness. therefore i can conclude that love is a mental illness and only the crazy fall in love.