annoyed

nothing ever goes right for me. why! tell me why must things happen at this period of time. where anything can either make or break me. i feel..................................... loser-fied. no such word but whatever...

is true love so hard to achieve? always thought you would be the one. never thought you would ever be the one who would hurt me. never thought you would be the one that would ask for us to TAB. cant say i have been treating you like how you deserved to be treated. i know very well how i treat you. i am not gentle. not nice. not listening to you. i dont wish to compare myself to other people. i think you dont compare me to others either. but i am still afraid. i am afraid i am not up to your standard. afraid i dont deserve you. afraid that after this TAB thing, you wont love me anymore. what am i supposed to do if one day you really leave me. dont wish for that to happen either. i call every night, as soon as i get home. but we dont get to talk at all. i whine about how much i miss you. yet you dont seem to have a reaction at it at all. the way you hang up. are 3 words very difficult to say. i say i miss you. then you say you miss me too. i ask you, is it out of willingness that you said it or was i just too fast therefore i said it first. or you just said it cause i told you so and you didnt want to hurt me. never thought so many what nots would arise from this relationship that we share. maybe it is true then. that we are still too young. but i still beg to differ. i am pretty sure i want to spend my future with you................................. the question is, do you still?