TGIF

another week down and another week nearer to submission and i can safely say i may complete it but it wont be quality work because even after all these years of chionging like a mad bitch for the last part of project, i am still not learning. i am still blogging when i am supposed to be doing my work god damn it, i am good.

met rachel for lunch today awwww and CNY's next week btw, i have truly outdone myself and i have no idea what the fuck i can do to salvage all these wasted time ooooooohhhhhhhhh i will never ever learn. i just wanna eat sleep gym train all day all night day in day out week after week.

Some work done

like what the title says, i did some work so at least there is something to show for it hah right now anthony ronn and khalis are playing a stupid game that doesnt allow then to use the work 'fuck' 'you' or 'eh' hahahaha its damn funny and they are playing ronn like shit hahaha omg damn funny hahahahah its cracking me up and am hungry now but class only ends at like 6 which is 2 more hours to go. and she finally finally brought the lollipop to school and is going to find a chance to eat it but no, i dont think she will find any time to hahahah so funny and the lollipop was given since halloween.

okay yesterday was dinner with the nteam ladies at kenny rogers and it was so great to finally see them again after so long and me cant wait to start rowing again hahahahaha being a fat blob recently, sighs been running but results are not showing D: horrible hahaha and ying says that your legs are nice, see i told you so lorrrrrrr.

i need more breaks than the ones i have now

i need a break. i want to get away from DLA once and for all, if i continue with this course i think i might just die. it's 24 days into the new year and about 6 more months to anyone's freedom. i need to stop thinking and start doing something like lets say apply for something immediately after i finish my exams and i cannot find it in myself to be fully saturated with hmmm contentment? not to say that i am not but i feel there is more to be filled up? okay am talking rubbish right now.

am happy but not saturated with happiness sigh i want to grow fat on happiness and contentment i want to glow from within and the looming deadline of this shit project is gloomy with no sunshine at all. i cannot see that light at the end of the tunnel and it really sucks because i am usually not so pessimistic grhh plants are making me have a headache! i need a chouchoubolster to smell and feel happy with gahhhh. sketch up not going well at all, my colouring is machiam shit and its so so so simple D: where's the rahrah that accompanies a good job done? is my sketch up not good enough?????????????????????

need to get started on my remaining sections (2 to be exact) my details (3 oh goddamnit 3motherlord sections) and also the a1 boards and chinese new year is coming so it means lotsa printing shops are closed ahhhhhhhh how the fuck do i solve the printing issue damna it.

rant over.

30 more days and it will all be over

this 4 yr misery shitholey diploma that i was supposed to get like a year ago. maybe finally in 30plus days i will be able to graduate and move on to better things in life like let's say teaching? or something sighhh but then i really want to be an air stewardess hahahahaha okay fine go on and laugh at me for being fat then grhhhh i am still going to try??? or maybe i wont since my mind is fickle and i am afraid of failures sighhh

i just got my ass to school 3hours after lessons started and then barely 2 hours into the class, my mind has just drifted to the gym omg seriously i cannot wait to finally leave school behind and start camping in the gym.

2010 passed way too quickly. so many things i have not tried in my 20 years of life and now 2011 is another journey into my 21st gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dont wanna grow old

its the same old shit over and over again

there was a portfolio submission today and me being me, the unchanged person, woke up at only 1030 when there happens to be school at 9 sighh and the best part was that i was already up since 7? when 62 texted me and idk why i cannot get my ass out of bed on time even when she isnt beside me hahaha i remember mummy coming into my room and smacking my butt with the clothes hanger but i just pretended i was asleep. doubt i will ever change for the better, even i dont believe in myself hahaha what is the world coming to hahahahaha well, my world.

i really need to find something nice/worthy/fulfilling to do in life if not i will just continue being this aimless soul that i am. i have huge plans for my body and it mostly involves pieces of tattoos but i am a jobless usless human and i cant dig money from anywhere sigh why cant it rain money on me.

i keep moping about my life when i can actually do something about it okay thats it. i am gonna apply for relief teaching yay and hopefully temasek sec wants me and i can go the the canoeing teacher in charge wah grand plans but who knows if it will come true grhh

Discipline please

i really really need more time to do idk what. everyday i go to school or when i actually do go to school, i get distracted and i waste my time. when will i ever really learn sighhhh i guess it really helps to have a passion in what you do because right now i am stuck, i want to finish a 4year dip in doing something that i have no passion for and that sucks because i am aimless and i float around in class and when i finally get my ass to class, all i wanna do is to run away to the gym or the sports complex to either run or do weights i really cant be rooted to class hahaha i am the black sheep of DLA i am sorry classmates you people are really wonderful, i am just being an idiot, as usual.

new year and many new things to do and its rather exciting but the future is all uncertain i mean like i dont know what i wanna do after i graduate with shitty results, i cant even go anywhere damn it but 62 gave me some advice and asked me to be a teacher but i think that i cant even handle myself much less handle kids sigh they will turn out to be rotten just like me D: sometimes i wish that i was born with a gold spoon in my mouth and i wouldnt have to worry about money or whatever and i can just be happy and spend money freely yet 62 claims it's about the self fulfilment and blahblah yes its true but at this point of time, there is nothing much i want to fulfil. i want to start learning new things but i am afraid to i like to stick to the norm.

i dislike school i dislike being aimless i dislike not knowing what to do with my life. i know i have so much to live for but at this point in time, i am feeling low and i doubt there is anything that can make me happy sigh not even a good session of weights in the gym no, not even that. this feeling sucks too bad.

i know i sound depressed but i am not lah just wallowing in self pity and going around in circles, waiting for someone to pick me up

New year, new post

I recently just bought this 365days notebook from kikki.k and then when I got home, sister told me that her friend is working there and can get discount ahhhhhh tmd!! I am going back there to buy more stuff with the discount and average all the spendings out so I feel better about myself omg I wish I could buy the whole shopppp the stuff there are like damn awesome.

Sucks to have school. I guess some things stay the same. My dread for school.