It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.

best friends

i have a bunch of awesome team mates, batch mates, colleagues both from my office and bnj. i dont know if its a good or bad thing that my friends are all from the same circle as i am (DB) which is why i treasure those that are not in DB alot. namely pin, mel, nicole from bnj and my one and only sugar bunny chow wei ling, not forgetting the one i always bully, rachel kwansie.

my time is always taken up by trngs and it's been pretty much like this for as long as i can remember. people always ask me when am i ever gonna leave db and start doing things that are actually useful(?!) how dyou define useful? is it when the thing you do brings you alot of dough? btw, chocolate chip cookie dough has dough in it too, just not the kind that people want. different dough, same but different. having a good paying job probably brings dough to my empty pocket. it fills up my pocket but doesnt fulfill me. i have great and awesome friends who want to do their part for society.

we always wish to have more time in a day. but what would i do even if i had more time? i dont even need to think. the answer will still be train. if i had more time, rowing, gymming, swimming and running can all happen in a day, on a daily basis. if only wishes do come true.

Its like you wanted to go and give yourself away

this week feels like a bad week already and its only tuesday. ugh can someone or something make my week a little better? okay fine, so i have got a ton of new clothes arriving but with no occasion to wear them, idk why i bought so many in the first place. i am annoyed with myself and i just wanna curl up in bed with a new book to read. maybe i shld re-read all my previous books hahaha dwna spend money buying books again. ugh.

i never ever learn from my mistakes. it's so easy to let people into my life and let them trample over me. after doing so, they just leave and pretend nothing ever happened in the first place. how should i react to that? by nature, pam isnt a spiteful person but sometimes things get too much and i have to fight/bite back cause if i dont look out for myself, who will look out for me? i learnt not to depend on others and to not believe in coincidences. i just need to put what i learnt into practice, so far, not good-.-

i want to smell new books and caress the uncreased spine, flip through the pages and immerse myself into a story that's not entirely unbelievable. even fairytales have tragic endings but why cant i make my own happy ending?