Its like you wanted to go and give yourself away

this week feels like a bad week already and its only tuesday. ugh can someone or something make my week a little better? okay fine, so i have got a ton of new clothes arriving but with no occasion to wear them, idk why i bought so many in the first place. i am annoyed with myself and i just wanna curl up in bed with a new book to read. maybe i shld re-read all my previous books hahaha dwna spend money buying books again. ugh.

i never ever learn from my mistakes. it's so easy to let people into my life and let them trample over me. after doing so, they just leave and pretend nothing ever happened in the first place. how should i react to that? by nature, pam isnt a spiteful person but sometimes things get too much and i have to fight/bite back cause if i dont look out for myself, who will look out for me? i learnt not to depend on others and to not believe in coincidences. i just need to put what i learnt into practice, so far, not good-.-

i want to smell new books and caress the uncreased spine, flip through the pages and immerse myself into a story that's not entirely unbelievable. even fairytales have tragic endings but why cant i make my own happy ending?