words;

it is what i have alot of. so much so that most of you(s) dont even wanna hear me speak. isnt that right? am i right? well, if thats the case then dont bother reading, cause for all you know, i dont want you to be reading this either. okay i sound so angsty all. BUT dont worry. i am not, pam is a happy kid. and she doesnt wanna grow up and have boobies (okay random).

maybe we have been living with our eyes half open, that is why we are not seeing the whole picture? maybe we are afraid of words we havent said. i wonder what thoughts go through your mind, what morbid fantasies you make up.
but alas, we were not created in the way that permits ourselves to be cut open in the skull and probing around our brains. we would most probably die, but, i dont exactly mind dying now. yes am still young all, but i wouldnt wanna die an old hag. so ugly and miserable. what if i have no children to like, attend my funeral. it IS either sooner or later so, why not sooner right. NOW, would be a good time (: (: (:

not supposed to be updating about my life. but i think everybody secretly wants to know about me. HAHAHAHA call me shameless or whatever-er-er but arent you reading it now? oh, dont feel the pinch. what makes you think i am talking about you? am not luh, for i dont even know who's reading. okay okay i shall stop being all sarcastic, for all i know, i might just get hate mail, but then i would hafta thank the people who would bother writing me mail, i will check out your handwriting and give you my feedback okay, dont worry (: (:

am i supposed to update? days pass by without a sign. it is already a freaking tuesday, and when did i last update? i had no idea people read this load of nonsense. are my posts too wordy?

saturday, had trng as usual but mixed was cancelled and went to my grandma's and knocked out until about 9plus, all the way from 5 i think. woahhhh, i think i mighta been a pig in my previous previous life or sth. my grans commented i am damn chor lor all, what kick here and there and talk damn loud :/ aye. i feel we need to express ourselves through our actions. dont expect me to act guniang all (cause i dont need to act, i AM damn guniang (: teeheee). but whatever-er-er. i like the way i am. if you dont like me, then dont be my friend. why!i think that, er, you all should learn to see past all the beautifooooool mistakes that i make and accept me. i can be a very, very good friend. dont make me your enemy. i will just cry ): i am all vulnerable and weak actually.

sunday, i didnt get to attend trng because my stomach was giving me problems and my body decided to get all hot and stuff. so, sorry l-l-ladiezzz. and i forgot what i did cause my brains were being fried. so sad, so sad. it is a sad sad situation........

monday, mixed trng. gwen had a bath during mixed cause i was ferociously splashing water all. i think i secretly am not cut out for rowing. i need to get my technique right. need to get the front catch. when six inches matter so much, yet i dont have it. i hope it is six inches and not more or i wouldnt be able to take it. well, i was talking about my stroke length luh, what were you(s) thinking? need to drive, drive. keep driving!! faster, stronger, better. i know i can do it. i have got the drive to. i have got the motivation to. BUT!!! the question is, are YOU able to too?
anyway, headed to maui with bun, bee and loveofmylife. then hanging around all. then bing, ling and ping came along after some time. then i headed home and just died on bed. Gahhhhhh! see! told you(s) am a pig. oh, i think i am a pig! and the truth hurts! i do not wish to be a pig luh, please eepeishan, dont turn into a pig.


Living is, hard enough, without you fucking up