too close for comfort

maybe what we have shared before was just in the head.
all that we were, we are nothing now.
what am i to feel now that i have lost you. the closeness we shared, it is all gone. cause of mistakes, broken promises. i wish i could make it up, but i cant and its not like you would bother about me. what am i. what was i. what will i become?

i dislike getting close to people cause i know it will suck BIG time when we drift. why cant people be understanding to know that there are plenty out there whom we need to spend time with too. how do you find things to talk about if we converse everyday. i know i seldom run outta things to say but sometimes i do run out (but thats very rare la). i know i cant be there all the time, for whoever cause i have too many people to attend to and some people just cannot understand that fact. i am sorry okay that i cant be there. and i wish i could split myself into little pieces so i can be there with everybuddy too but i cant. its the thought that counts no? so its all in the mind, Hahaha. i dont know what else to say anymore.

i dont understand why people read my blog. its so full of rants and nonsensical stuff that sometimes doesnt make sense to myself.
i think i am a flirt. and quite a big one at that.
i think i lead people on.
i think i dont know how to reject people. so i end up having alot of. whatever-er-ers.
i think that i will get into trouble one day.
why do i invest feelings? Haha. i am trying to find my place with you. and i know i have found it. so i wont go flirt anymore.

the above is such a load of bullshit. i cant believe i posted it. i dont know how i survived 18years of bullshit. HAHAHA i think i learnt to bullshit at a very young age. so its part of my life now. so be careful when i talk to you, maybe all the things i say is just bullshit. or maybe not luhhh, depends on how important you are to me (: (: if you think you are important then you are. if not, dont bother reading my blog lorrrrz.

and i secretly think i very guniang. die la, how many people will laugh at me when i say that. doesnt matter. yes, burping and all very very guniang one okay (:
i need to widen my vocab of swear words. and super cheeeem words. so i can confund all of you.