trainings are killerZXz

ohyeah. just realised that there is this so called peak period where everyone leaves. after a major race(june race in this case), there will definitely be such events happening. this misfortune happened to the guys team. and it befell our girls team too. i cant say much to those who leave but. yeahhh just want you to know that we do support your decision. though we cant do anything about it. it is ultimately still your choice. if you feel you will fare better having left the team, then all the best (: no sarcasm intended. i, the great one HAHAHA, too have been through my fair shares of people leaving. people coming back. people almost quitting. when people leave the team, does it mean that their passion is not there anymore? maybe they HAD to leave because of certain reasons. maybe they will come back stronger than before. but, when they wanna come back, would we welcome them? would be treat them the same again? some of the answers might be yes, some of the answers might be no. different people have differing views and it is not up to us to control what other people think. dragonboat, is not only about yourself, it is also about your team. can you imagine the pain you put us through when people leave? leaving the team, is not a joke. its about you leaving your sisters and brothers behind. i do not for once think that you take the issue of yourself leaving as a joke. but if thats really the best, then. go for what you want (: it is not that i do not want to show emotions, but when i act nonchalant, it is a shield to protect me, myself and i from the pain. the best way to not get hurt is to not bother so much right. what for delve into the affairs that are not within your control. i cannot say this doesnt bother me much. it does. but, i am sure it bothers the junior girls even more. cause, we are a different batch, i am sure they would have bonded much closer with other juniors instead. what would happen if one of us seniors were to quit? i dont know and i dont wish to think about it. i have no more space in my brains to think about anything else anymore.

coach came down for today's training. and today is the day when i realise that i should not try so hard anymore. it is not within my control. i still feel the same, if not even more (and i am sure you are damn sick of listening to me say that and proclaiming that). but what i feel is not within my control. though i have been telling people that i wanna give up, i cant. i know i wont. i am not even sure of what you think anymore. when you speak to me, it is as if you cant wait to get rid of me. it is as if i am a piece of rubbish. do you even think twice before saying whatever you wanna say? HAHA okay not gonna emo anymore. anyway, i forgot what i wanted to post. hahaha weights were good. erm, pool rowing was a killer. and! i ate instant noodles after trng. but i didnt finish the noodles. i just transfered the noodles into a pudding cup and proclaimed 'HAHA, cup noodles' with a gleeful smile on my face, only to meet with the stone faces of denise, gwen, zakiki and yunnsin. so much for trying to crack a joke. HAHA i am such a loser. oh well. ehh then trained home with denise, zakiki, mildred, edna and the invisible girl (ruifang). haha we were trying to outcast her and i must say we were rather successful at doing that (: yay three cheers to us. erm, we were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO successful that after mildred and edna alighted at outram (this information is for you stalkers, in case you wanna stalk them) then me denise and zakiki forgot all about ruifang until she alighted at kallang and knocked on the window then we remembered her presence. wah wah we damn good at forgetting la. HAHAHAHA okay erm then i walked home and i got damn scared cause got many people burning incense paper and joss stick and like i got damn scared la. but the park there got bright and colourful lights for the national day dinner so it was alright. HAHAHA i like the lights and i want to go sit at the park and look at the lightssss. anyyyyyyyyooooooooooneeeeeee gonnnaaaaa date me? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hahahahaha!