Got me tearing up like nobody's business

I can feel and hear Finnick's heart beating around me and I remember an awful truth of life: the steady beating that I'm hearing is the only thing that keeps Finnick with me right now. Everything that he is, every word he will ever speak, every thought he will ever have, every action he will ever perform depends on this one organ, this one piece of him that beats steadily. I wonder if his heart knows just how much depends on it, because I am certain in that moment that Finnick isn't the only one that depends on that heart doing what it is supposed to do. I want to reach inside of him and tell it that I am putting so much into its hands, but I can't, because as best as I can remember hearts don't think or feel or live on their own, but why do I feel suddenly like mine can? It feels huge and powerful and consuming like it has a life of its own, and that it might swell and leave my chest and walk away, but that can't happen, can it? There is too much inside of me, too many emotions, and I'm drowning drowning drowning and I want to cry because I don't understand why I feel the way I do. I can't put a word to what it is, I just know I like so much the way Finnick's eyes turn green when he smiles and the way his hands look when he tucks that blue blanket around me and his laugh and the way it sounds and his posture and the way he walks and his voice and the way he talks and his mind and the way he thinks and the way he can make me smile and the way he loves sugar cubes and how kind he is and how good he is and the way he sees things, everything, nothing, me.