dear boy

Dear Boy,

I do love you. Maybe one day we will fall in love all over again. And we will discover how it felt when we first got together, during the period of Regatta. Trips to the esplanade after trainings, after dinner with the team mates. It's been 5months coming 6. I suppose things arent the way they were before. What can i do to salvage this whole thing?

Your friends think you dont deserve someone like me. My friends think that you have changed and therefore i dont deserve someone like you. But dont you think that we deserve the love that we share? The love we share is out of the world. I would very much love to be what you deserve. What you need. The person that keeps you going. I want you to be happy with me. I wish to be the one that can make you happy.

Maybe i deserve someone just like myself. Spoiled. Demanding. Stubborn. Overbearing. Annoying. And maybe a tad too proud at times. Not forgetting i am violent. And that when i talk, it seems like i am shouting. Any normal person wont be able to stand me. But i thought you were the one until one day, you went MIA. and things took a dip for the worst. Ahh. Maybe you secretly agree with them. Why are you sticking to a person like me when there are a thousand other girls out there who would worship you. Told you before, i cant be the perfect girl. Yeah why are you still with me. Every other girl out there is secretly in love with you (except maybe my db girls).

I wish i can be the right one for you. But i dont think i can be the right one for anyone. I mean. Who can stand my temper? Who can give in to me so much. Being with me is like a. Shit job. You can keep it up for a month. For two months. Three. Four. Five. Six. Or maybe a year. But can you keep it up for life? Maybe one day, i will be able to find someone who can. For now. I hope you are that someone and. Will continue to be.

But i want you to know. I still love you. More than ever. I know for sure the way i feel towards you. Its more than just a feeling. Its indescribable. I fucking love you, do you get it?

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着.

I wish you were beside me to hug me to sleep through the night. Baby, you know i love you so.