To think I thought I knew

Hahahahaha I knew it. Truth and honesty are so hard to come by. I never thought but now I know. I always thought and now I know, I know better too. Maybe you don't tell me everything but it does not mean that I don't know. From now on, and also Immediately has not held true and I don't think it will.

When we are in control, we are good.
And when we are out of control, that is when we become a beast. We are in a frenzy. We don't know how to help it. How to help ourselves.

Anyway, I know I have pretty much MIA-ed from school, from home, from blogging (awww my dear sweet readers, notice how I am calling you readers instead of stalkers?!). I am becoming a sloth. And when one day, when I finally grow up, I will look back and then think, 'What the hell? Did I really skip school and give up halfway?' Hahahah fuckkkk it was such a waste of money!!!! I mean, one term, it is like half a freaking semester and one semester costs about 1200buckeroos. and I wasted half of that, damn, I am good. But I am still going back to school, just so you know. Hahah because 'Quitters never win and winners never quit.' Whoo so cliche!

So the few weeks went by in a whirl, as usual, what's new?!?!?!
People mugging, people studying, people quitting. Many things go on around the world. There is usually nothing that involves me being the centre of the whole fucking universe. Though I would love to be in the middle of it for a few times (: Hehehehe.

And for a night, I became Cinderpamela and Rachel, Cinderachella (WTFHFHFHF!?!?!). Hahahah what the fuck right? I don't know either. Everybody is going, or have gone or will be going. I am looking forward to going since there is not much going on in my life.
It's been so long since I had the time to type out such a goddamn long and boring and mundane post. I think nobody reads this blog anymore. Or maybe they still do. Since human beings are usually a bunch of nosy idiots who cannot, absolutely cannot resist poking their noses into other people's business, now, correct me if I am wrong.
Having said that, I cannot exclude myself from the human race :/ I do admit that I poke and pry, but of course only into the business of the people that I love/are interested in/want to know/blahblah/whatever other shallow excuses. It is only because I am included in the above category that I am able to find out about things that I never thought I knew.......... Hehehehehehehhe!!!!

I would not want to desert this blog at all. I will not choose Livejournal in favour of blogger because I started out on blogger first. Shit there were still many things I needed to rant about but being me, I forgot. Hahahahah

Oh, did I mention that I am finally going for fuckingattachment? Hahahah being a slave for a fucking 7weeks is not going to go down well on me. Hmmm, and I have been thinking lately. How the fuck do I get my ass back to Tampines and tell my mother that I am finally going back home to stay? Haha there is a high possibility that I might get slaughtered but I guess my skin is thick enough. Since I have already survived for 18, coming 19 years, I think I still can hold on to this pathetic life which I am going to die from for another 10 - 20 years? Hahahaha or the harder thing to tell her would be how I managed to fritter away all my money in a span of 2 weeks. Hehehehehe.

It is not a matter of jealousy but a misunderstanding. How can we stand by and let the person we love get hurt or get with another person. And what if that little corner of our mind grows bigger all the time. What if? Life, full of shits and what ifs.
It is also not a matter how me thinking too much but the facts are just right in my face.
It is not a matter of it being a matter.