Random shit.

I DO NOT LIKE THE SILENCES, IT IS KILLING ME.

Now I get what they mean by silence can be deafening. To hell with silence is golden. That, is total bullcrap.

Now I realise that it is not any other bug but The Bug. The Bug that multiplies when you have doubts, when you feel insecure, when you do not feel reassured, when those nightmares come looking for you and haunting you. And then the bug gets stamped out by proclaimations of forever love. And when the darkness gets too dark and snuffs out the light, The Bug returns with new poison under it's fangs, the venom more lethal than before. What do you do?

Now I find out that it is the grey areas that are so hard to sit out. When black is not clearly black. When black is not pure dark, pure evil, pure sinister anymore. When you actually begin to see a tinge of light in the darkness. Purest white has actually a slight tinge of blue. And then sometimes the blue becomes so dull that it actually resembles a shade of grey, what do you do? Do you sit and wait it out? Do you try to make it white again? Or do you just let the darkness overwhelm and then engulf you? Grey, when nothing is definite, when nothing is for sure, when anything you say or do can either make or break you. Do you let your mind or let your heart win this epic battle? It is the choices that we make that make us who we are. It is what we learn from these choices. The choices that we have made, that we have chosen. May it be for the better or for worse, it has moulded us into this bloodyfuckingannoying heck of a person that we are now.

Now it is clear that perceptions and images of people that we have in our minds are as fickle as the wind. It can blow in their favour anytime and then change directions and go against them in no time, at all. It is as everchanging as the clouds above us when touched by the wind. A light gust can change everything. A wrong choice, A wrong word can change whatvever good points that other people once had of you. Yet, when things fall apart, a smile, a wave, an acknowledgement can change the negative to positive again.
"
"Now I know what Love is. Now that I have you. Since you came into my life. You've made everything new. You're the Greatest Gift from up above. And I'm so thankful for your love. Now I know what Love is. Now that I have you."